Tom and his hot wife were playing golf when the ball suddenly goes inside someone's house..
They enter the house and see a broken bottle and a man.
Man: I want to thank you. I am a genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle. I will give you both 1 wish each, and I will keep 1 wish for myself.
Tom: I want a billion dollars!
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world. ??
Genie: Done. Done.
Tom : And what is your wish genie?
Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.
Tom said: Emm Ok! You're gettingus a lot of money. I guess I don't mind. ??
The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours.
After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband?
Wife answers: 35.
Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories..
Man: I want to thank you. I am a genie who was trapped for 1000 years in the bottle. I will give you both 1 wish each, and I will keep 1 wish for myself.
Tom: I want a billion dollars!
Wife: I want a house in every country of the world. ??
Genie: Done. Done.
Tom : And what is your wish genie?
Genie: Well, since I haven't loved a woman in a thousand years, my wish is to sleep with your wife.
Tom said: Emm Ok! You're gettingus a lot of money. I guess I don't mind. ??
The genie took the wife upstairs and slept with her for two hours.
After it was over he asked her: How old is your husband?
Wife answers: 35.
Genie: Really? And he still believes in genie stories..
15 Ways to Keep a Relationship Working...♥
1. Love each other ♥
2. Don’t lie ♥
3. Keep communication open ♥
4. Stay sweet ♥
5. When you get hurt, focus on forgiving ♥
6. Never talk about break-ups ♥
7. Never say ‘it’s ok’ when it’s not ♥
8. Learn to put your ego aside ♥
9. If you say ‘sorry,' mean it ♥
10. Don’t compare your past with your present ♥
11. Don’t talk about your ex’s ♥
12. Practice 'give and take' ♥
13. Be aware of your partner’s feelings ♥
14. After a fight, work on resolving the issue right
away; don’t let the days go by ♥
15. Although there is no ‘perfect person’ out there,
There IS a ‘right one’ for u. ♥
2. Don’t lie ♥
3. Keep communication open ♥
4. Stay sweet ♥
5. When you get hurt, focus on forgiving ♥
6. Never talk about break-ups ♥
7. Never say ‘it’s ok’ when it’s not ♥
8. Learn to put your ego aside ♥
9. If you say ‘sorry,' mean it ♥
10. Don’t compare your past with your present ♥
11. Don’t talk about your ex’s ♥
12. Practice 'give and take' ♥
13. Be aware of your partner’s feelings ♥
14. After a fight, work on resolving the issue right
away; don’t let the days go by ♥
15. Although there is no ‘perfect person’ out there,
There IS a ‘right one’ for u. ♥
In the hospital the relatives gathered in the waiting room where their family member lay gravely ill. Finally, the doctor came in looking tired and somber.
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is abrain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked,"Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded,"$5,000 for a male brain, and$200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask.
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."
"I'm afraid I'm the bearer of bad news," he said as he surveyed the worried faces. "The only hope left for your loved one at this time is abrain transplant. It's an experimental procedure, semi-risky and you will have to pay for the brain yourselves."
The family members sat silent as they absorbed the news. After a great length of time, someone asked,"Well, how much does a brain cost?"
The doctor quickly responded,"$5,000 for a male brain, and$200 for a female brain."
The moment turned awkward. Men in the room tried not to smile, avoiding eye contact with the women, but some actually smirked. A man, unable to control his curiosity, blurted out the question everyone wanted to ask.
"Why is the male brain so much more?"
The doctor smiled at the childish innocence and said, "It's just standard pricing procedure. We have to mark down the price of the female brains, because they've actually been used."
If you were on a date having dinner with a nice young lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom?
A Teacher trying to teach good manners.... then asked his students this Question:
Michael if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom??
Michael:"Just a minute, I have to go pee.."
Teacher: That would be rude &
impolite.. How about you Sam??
Sam said:"I really need to go to the Toilet, i'm sorry.."
Teacher: That's better but still not nice to say the word Toilet..
Oh you Little Johnny?? Can you use your brain??
Little Johnny said:"Darling, May i please be excused for a moment??
I've got to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom i hope
to introduce to you after dinner."
"TEACHER FAINTED!!!"
Michael if you were on a date having dinner with a nice young
lady, how would you tell her that you have to go to the bathroom??
Michael:"Just a minute, I have to go pee.."
Teacher: That would be rude &
impolite.. How about you Sam??
Sam said:"I really need to go to the Toilet, i'm sorry.."
Teacher: That's better but still not nice to say the word Toilet..
Oh you Little Johnny?? Can you use your brain??
Little Johnny said:"Darling, May i please be excused for a moment??
I've got to shake hands with a very dear friend of mine, whom i hope
to introduce to you after dinner."
"TEACHER FAINTED!!!"
One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said..
"Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.
After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk withyou. Your mother and I have beenmarried 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool aroundwith women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this."
William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. "Dad has done so muchharm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained."Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."
His mother just shook her head."Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father."
After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk withyou. Your mother and I have beenmarried 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool aroundwith women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."
William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Diane said yes! We're getting married in June."
Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Diane is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this."
William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. "Dad has done so muchharm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained."Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."
His mother just shook her head."Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father."
Bob calls in to his job..
"Hey, boss I'm not coming to work today. I'm really sick. I got a headache, stomach ache, and my legs hurt, so I'm not coming into work."
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you've got a nice house.":)
The boss says:
"You know Bob, I really need you today. When I feel like this I go to my wife, and tell her to give me sex. That makes me feel better, and I can go to work. You should try that."
2 hours later Bob calls:
"Boss, I did what you said, and I feel great! I'll be at work soon. By the way, you've got a nice house.":)