Investments are subject to market risks

Boss: Let me fuck u once, I'll b quick & amp; pay u 1000 Rs.
I'll throw the money on the floor & before you bend down & amp; pick it up all, I 'll b done!

Secretary likes the proposal & She calls her BF to ask him.

BF:Its fine,but ask for 2000 rs & amp; b very quick 2 pick the money.

After 4 hrs BF calls her BF:What happend?

GF:That Bastard is still fucking me. He brought Coins!
Lesson: Investments r subject to market risks. Please read d offer documents carefully before investing.

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Serious back-pain

One morning at a doctor's surgery a patient arrives complaining of serious back-pain.
The doctor examines him and asks him" OK, what happened to your back?"
The patient replies "You know that I work for a local night club?
This morning I got home to my apartment early and heard a noisein my bedroom.
On entering I knew someone had been wit h my wife and the balcony door was open. I rushed out the balcony door and did not find anyone. As I looked down from the balcony I saw a man running out and he was dressing himself.I grabbed the fridge and threw it at him, That’s how I strained my back" The 2nd patient arrives looking as if he has been in a car wreck.
The doctor said "My previous patient looked bad, but you look terrible. What the hell happened to you?"
He replied, "You know I have been unemployed for a while now.Today was the first day at my new job. I forgot to set my alarm and was running late. I was running out of the building, getting dressed at the same time, and you won't believe it but I was hit by a fridge." The 3rd patient arrives; he looks even worse than the other two Patients do.. The doctor is shocked. Again asks,"What the hell happened to you....?" "Well I was sitting in a fridge & and; someone threw it from the 3rd floor"

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Hand Wash

A man is walking behind his wife and says, "Baby you are so fat now your bum looks like a washing machine."

The woman keeps quiet and keeps walking.

Bed time, the man is asking for sex.

The woman says, "I can't start the washing machine for such a small load. You'll have to hand wash!"

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Maa Ki Aankh

Ek Ladki interview denay gai

Boss : batao wo konsi cheez hai jis k 2 tyres hotay hain ?

Ladki : bike ! Boss: nahi, hOnda bike ;)

chAlo ek aur sawal,

Wo konsi cheez hai jis k 4 tyres hotay hain ?

 Ladki : car ! Boss : nhi, toyota car :D

 Ladki: Chal ub tu mere sawal ka jawab de.!

 Wo konsi cheez hai jo dikhney mai white hai aur beech mai kala anda hai.....?

 Boss : hehehe !! Ankh. . Ladki : nahi Saale, teri MAA ki ankh:P

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Bhagawan Mere Baap Ko Utha Le

Bacha:- Bhagwan kare teacher ki zuban cut jaye. Roz roz dant ti hai.

Next day zuban cut gai..

Bacha :- Bhagwan kare master ka hath toot jaye. Tang krta hai... bahut marta hai.

Next day hath toot jata hai... Bacha :- Bhagwan mere BAAP ko utha le. Bahut marte hai.

Next day baap ghar aate hain, Bacha :- Papa Aapko kuch nahi hua ?

Baap :- Nahi kyo Bacha :- Maa kahan hain...?

 Baap :- pados me SHARMA uncle ki death ho gai hai, wahan Gayi hain.

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Bus Male Hai Ya Female?

PAPPU Teacher se: Miss 'BUS' MALE he ya FEMALE?

(Teacher Sochne Lagi)

Ek bacha: Teacher ye Female he

2nd bacha: Wo Kese

3rd bacha: Qun k Sb Log Us Pr Charhty Hen

(Teacher Pareshaan)

4th bacha Agr Bus FEMALE Hy or Sb Us Pr Charhtay Hen To Us k Bachay Qun nahi hote?

(Teacher Zyda Preshan)

5th bach: Is Liye k Sb Us Pr PechaySe Charhty Hen

(Teacher Sharam se pani pani)

6th:Mana k Sbhi Pechay Se Charhty Hen Lekin Driver To Agy Se Charhta He Na? Phr Bachay Q Ni Hoty?

(Teacher Ki Saans Bannd)

Pappu: Qu K Wo Topi Pehan k Charhta He

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Doctor and his funny Patient

Ek Aadmi Doctor Ke Paas Gaya Aur Bola,

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab, Main Bahut Preshan Hoon, Jab Bhi Main Bistar Par Let ta Hoon, Mujhe Lagta Hai Ki Bistar Ke Niche Koi Hai. Jab Main Bistar Ke Niche Dekhne Jata Hoon To Lagata Hai Upar Koi Hai. Niche, Upar, Niche, Upar Yahi Karta Rehta Hoon, So Nahi Pata. Mera Acha Sa Ilaaz Kijiye Nahi To Main Pagal Ho Jaunga”

Doctor Ne Kaha: “Tumahara Ilaaz Lagbhag Do Saal Tak Chalega, Tumhe hafte Mein Teen Baar Aana Padega, Aur Tumne Mere Bataye Anusaar Ilaaz Kiya To Tum Bilkul Theek Ho Jaoge”

Aadmi: “Doctor Sahab, Par Aapki Fees Kitni Hogi? ”

Doctor: “100 Rupaye Ek Baar Aane Ke Aur 200 Rs Ek Mahine Ki Dawayi Ke”

 Aadmi Gareeb Tha, Phir Aane Ko Kah Kar Chala Gaya.

6 Mahine Baad Wahi Aadmi Doctor Ko Sadak Par Ghumate Hue Mila.

Doctor Ne Pucha: “Kyun Bhai, TumApna Ilaaz Karane Kyun Nahi Aaye?”

Aadmi: “100 Rupaye Ek Baar Ke Ilaaz Karwaun? Mere Padosi Ne Mera Ilaaz Sirf Bees (20) Rupaye Mein Kar Diya ”

Doctor Ne Hairani Se Pucha: “Achha Wo Kaise?”

Aadmi: “Wo Ek Badayi Hai, Usne Mere Palang Ke Chaaro Paanv Sirf 5 Rupaye Ek Paanv Ke Hisaab Se Kaat Diye“

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Dil Tod Denewali Shayri

Koyle k khan se Hira kaise nikalu

wah wah

Koyle k khan se Hira kaise nikalu

Gaur farmaiyega ki koyle k khan se hira kaise nikalu

INTERNAL me hi fail hu, To SALA semester kaise sambhalu..

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Tu Nahi To Kuch Bhi Nahi

Tere khaylo se Daman chupa ke Dekha..


Dil-O-Nazar ko bohat aazma ke dekha


Teri kasam Tu Nahi To Kuch Bhi Nahi is Jaha me


Mene kuch Pal ke liye Tujhe Bhula ke Dekha....

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