Facebook Status

If I Die And People Post Bad Statuses About Me On Facebook, I Will Come Back And Murder Them..!

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Dad joined facebook.
Kid`s status update: `Dad on FB, wtf!`
Dad commented, `What is wtf?`
Kid replied him, `Welcome to Facebook!`

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Modern Style wedding:
Pujari: Do u both agree to change your Facebook status to married?
Couple: Yes, we do.
Pujari: Vivaah Sampann!

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FACEBOOK LAW:
Behind every status update..
there is a...
Ctrl + C
Ctrl + V

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Facebook should have options WHO CARES along with LIKE.
It should also add SLAP, PUNCH, KICK along with POKE.

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The 'Poke' option is okay, but when is Facebook going to come out with a 'Punch' option?

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Why do people say to me, "You're always on FaceBook?" How do they know exactly? Could it be because they are too?

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I don't always have a cool FaceBook status. But when I do, some relative of mine ruins it with a lame comment.

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If Youtube, Twitter, and Facebook were all school subjects, my parents would be so proud of me!

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Facebook Tip:
Never Delete/Block your ex flames;
Let them know that you're better off without them!

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Texting + Facebook = Textbook.
Yes, Mom! I am studying.

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Twitter is a nursery for wannabe Critics. FaceBook for Photographers.

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Who says, "One can't deactivate one's Facebook account?"
.
..
...
I did it many a time.

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Dear Facebook,
You're becoming a little too complicated and trying to over do it, you're going to end up like me.
Sincerely,
MySpace.

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If U fail in LIFE then FACEBOOK is the best place to write motivating messages.

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Before posting a Tweet or something on Facebook, one should always test it on one's wife first. If she rolls her eyes and leaves the room, you know it has potential.

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Dear Facebook,
You keep suggesting people to me as friends; but then you get all concerned and ask me, "how I know them?"
You can't be the PIMP and the COP, too!

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Dear Twitter,
You cured my Facebook addiction!
Thanks!

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Here's some rain, just in case your timeline is dry. ｀｀、ヽ｀｀、 、ヽ ｀ ヽ｀、ヽ｀ ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ ｀ヽ ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ ｀ 、ヽ｀ヽ ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、ヽ｀｀、ヽ｀｀、 、ヽ ｀ ヽ｀、ヽ｀ ｀、ヽ｀ヽ｀、、ヽ ｀ヽ

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Soon Christian weddings will be performed like this:
Priest: Do you agree to change your Facebook status from Single to Married?
Boy: Yes!
Girl: Yes!
Priest: Congrats! You are now husband and wife. You may now Poke the bride. And please don't forget to Tag me in the wedding pics

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