A woman walks into a gynaecologist's office who greets her with, "At your cervix, madam!"
The woman replies, "Dilated to meet you!"

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Patient: Doctor, I've had sex abortions when I was unmarried but ever since I have tied the knot I am unable to conceive.
Obstetrician: Evidently you do not breed in captivity.

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The wife of an obstetrician to his hubby's flirtatious patient, "My husband delivers babies. He does not install them".

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An ophthalmologist cured a famous painter of his cataract. In gratitude, the good fellow painted a portrait of the doctor in the pupil of an eye and presented it to him.
The doctor shuddered to think what he would paint when his wife, an obstetrician, delivered the artist's wife!

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