Stunt Driver

The car sped off the highway, went through the guard rail, rolled down a cliff, bounced off a tree and finally shuddered to a stop.

A passing motorist, who had witnessed the entire accident, helped the miraculously unharmed driver out of the wreck.

"Good lord, mister," he gasped, "Are you drunk?"

"Of course," said the man, brushing the dirt from his suit. "What the hell do you think I am... a stunt driver?"

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Sentry Duty

A new soldier was on sentry duty at the main gate.

His orders were clear: No car was to enter unless it had a special sticker on the windshield.

A big Army car came up with a General seated in the back.

The sentry said, "Halt, who goes there?"

The chauffeur, a corporal, says, "General Wheeler."

"I'm sorry, I can't let you through. You've got to have a sticker on the windshield."

The general said, "Drive on!"

The sentry said, "Hold it! You really can't come through. I have orders to shoot if you try driving in without a sticker."

The general repeated, "I'm telling you, son, drive on!"

The sentry walked up to the rear window and said, "General, I'm new at this. Do I shoot you or the the driver?"

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Gujju Blood

An Arab was admitted in the Lilavati Hospital at Mumbai for a heart transplant, but prior to the surgery the doctors needed to store his blood in case need arises.

As the gentleman had a rare type of blood, it couldn't be found locally. So the call went out to a number of countries. Finally a Gujarati was located who had a similar type of blood. The Gujarati willingly donated his blood for the Arab.

After the surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati as appreciation for giving his blood, a new Hummer, diamonds, lapiz lazuri jewellery, and a million US dollars.

A year later, the Arab had to go through a corrective surgery. His doctor telephoned the Gujarati who was more than happy to donate his blood again.

After the second surgery, the Arab sent the Gujarati a thank you card and a jar of Almond halwa sweets.

The Gujarati was shocked to see that the Arab this time did not reciprocate the Gujarati's kind gesture as he had anticipated.

He phoned the Arab and asked him why he had expressed his appreciation in not so generous manner.

The Arab replied, "Bapu... now I have Gujju blood in my veins!

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Indian Mother

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her."

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How to Kiss a Girl

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Life Cycle

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Ziddi Murga

Ek ziddi Murge ko uske malik ne pinjre me band kar diya..

Murga itna ziddi tha ki peeche se bahar aa gaya..

Malik ne use fir pinjre me band kar diya.

Lekin Murga ziddhi tha..phr peeche se bahar aa gaya..

Uske baad malik ko bahut gussa aya..malik ne use kaat kar paka k kha gaya..

Lekin Murga to ziddhi tha na..!!

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Evolution

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Rat ko Jagna chaiye Sona toh Gold bhi hai

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21st Century Menu

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Hello "BHOSADIKE"

Don't get angry.  It may surprise you to know that the origin of the phrase "Bhosadike" is, in fact, an ancient Sanskrit greeting, "Bho sad ike?" meaning, "Sir, are you well?"

'Bho' is a term used for respectful greeting, similar to 'Aho!'.
Brahmins will know it since it is also used in the abhivadaye.

'Sad' is a prefix used for 'good things', as in sadguru, sadiccha etc.

'Ika' is a atmanepadi verb meaning 'to be'.

Other forms of this are:
- 'Ike ikaavahe ikaamahe'
- 'Ikase ikethe ikadhve'
- 'Ikate ikete ikante'

Hence "Bhosadike" was a popular form of greeting in ancient India, before the Mughals invaded India and prohibited it for some reason.

However some steadfast Indians continued to use this greeting. Therefore, to assassinate this greeting morally, the Mughals gave it profane and vulgar connotations, which unfortunately prevail even to this day.

It is time we revived our ancient Indian traditions heeding to the call of the purists to go back to our ancient way of life.

So say "BHOSADIKE" to all the people you meet and explain to them its true, pure meaning. This is the reason why I call people by this name :-D

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Live a Life to Impress the Creator not the Creation

As soon as you die, your identity becomes a "Body".
People use phrases like
"Bring the Body",
"Lower the Body in the Grave",
"Take the Body to the Graveyard"
etc. etc.
People Don't Even call you by your
Name whom you tried to Impress the
whole Life.
 
Moral:- "Live a Life to Impress the
Creator not the Creation!!

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Brain Damaging Habits

1. No Breakfast

People who do not take breakfast are going to have a lower blood sugar level. This leads to an insufficient supply of nutrients to the brain causing brain degeneration.

2. Overeating
It causes hardening of the brain arteries,leadin

­g to a decrease in mental power.

3. Smoking
It causes multiple brain shrinkage and may lead to Alzheimer disease.

4. High Sugar Consumption
Too much sugar will interrupt the absorption of proteins and nutrients causing malnutrition and may interfere with brain development.

5. Air Pollution
The brain is the largest oxygen consumer in our body. Inhaling polluted air decreases the supply of oxygen to the brain, bringing about a decrease in brain efficiency.

6 . Sleep Deprivation
Sleep allows our brain to rest. Long term deprivation from sleep will accelerate the death of brain cells.

7. Head Covered While Sleeping
Sleeping with the head covered increases the concentration of carbon dioxide and decrease concentration of oxygen that may lead to brain damaging effects.

8. Working Your Brain During Illness
Working hard or studying with sickness may lead to a decrease in effectiveness of the brain as well as damage the brain.

9. Lacking in Stimulating Thoughts
Thinking is the best way to train our brain, lacking in brain stimulation thoughts may cause brain shrinkage.

10. Talking Rarely
Intellectual conversations will promote the efficiency of the brain.

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Tips for Healthy Life

Health:

1. Drink plenty of water.

2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like a beggar.

3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants, and eat less food that is manufactured in plants.

4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm, and Empathy.

5. Make time for prayer and reflection

6. Play more games.

7. Read more books than you did in 2012.

8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.

9. Sleep for 7 hours.


Personality:

10. Take a 10-30 minutes walk every day —- and while you walk, smile.

11. Don’t compare your life to others’. You have no idea what their journey is all about.

12. Don’t have negative thoughts or things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment.

13. Don’t over do; keep your limits.

14. Don’t take yourself so seriously; no one else does.

15. Don’t waste your precious energy on gossip.

16. Dream more while you are awake.

17. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need.

18. Forget issues of the past. Don’t remind your partner with his/her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.

19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don’t hate others.

20. Make peace with your past so it won’t spoil the present.

21. No one is in charge of your happiness except you.

22. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.

23. Smile and laugh more.

24. You don’t have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.


Community:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.

27. Forgive everyone for everything.

28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6.

29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.

30. What other people think of you is none of your business.

31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.


Life:

32. Do the right things.

33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.

34. Forgiveness heals everything.

35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.

36. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up.

37. The best is yet to come.

38. When you awake alive in the morning, don’t take it for granted – embrace life.

39. Your inner most is always happy. So, be happy.

Last but not least:

40. Enjoy LIFE!
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Daily Habits that will Increase Your Mind Power

1. Go for a walk with a friend.

That means walking with a friend so that you talk as you walk. Social connection, physical exercise and mental stimulation are the brain strengtheners.

2. Solve Puzzles, Play Games

Playing a game of Sudoku or attempting to solve a difficult crossword sets your brain cells in action. Doctors often advise people who report focus problems to play a video game for few minutes everyday to boost brain’s ability to focus on one thing at a time.

3. Meditate

Meditation is easier said than done. But if you could include it in your everyday routine and practice it diligently, it would go a long way in giving you a better memory help to make a better brain.

4. Eat healthy

Our diets have a HUGE impact on brain functioning. Our brains consume over 20% of all nutrients & oxygen that we consume so remember to feed your brain with the good and healthy Stuff.

5. Think positive

Stress and anxiety kills existing brain neurons and also stop new neurons from being created. Research has shown that positive thinking, especially in the future tense, speeds up the creation of cells and dramatically reduces stress & anxiety. Try and get a handle on negative thoughts and makes an effort to leave them and change it to positive ones.

6. Laugh It Up

Laughter causes a natural release of the brain’s endorphins chemicals that drown out pain and increase overall wellbeing. Laughter is a well known, natural stress reducer. Watch a comedy, crack a joke, and increase those endorphin levels.

7. Listen To Music

Studies have proven that listening to music strengthens the right-hemisphere of the brain and literally changes the structure. Those same studies have found that people who listen to the music are generally much smarter and have more emotional intelligence than those who don’t.

8. Do Self-Hypnosis

The power of hypnotic suggestion is definitely real. You can change aspects of your thought process and learn to shift your focus by taking the time to do some self-hypnosis. Hypnosis research shows that by practicing hypnosis, an individual experiences lowered stress, increased pain tolerance, and clear thinking.

9. Set Goals

Setting goals activates areas of the brain associated with positive thinking and action. Setting goals is great for achieving success and prosperity in life and boosting your brain.

10. Follow a Sleep and Wake up Routine

One day you are night owl and other day, you wake up at 5. This randomness of your sleep pattern is neither good for your body nor for your brain. Better Sleep makes your mind healthy . Sleep sound, wake up fresh and try to stick to a routine.
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7 Dangerous acts after Meal

7 Dangerous acts after a meal

1. Don’t smoke —- Experiments from experts proves that smoking a cigarette after meal is comparable to smoking 10 cigarettes (chances of cancer is higher)

2. Don’t eat fruits immediately — Immediately eating fruits after meals will cause stomach to be bloated with air. Thre fore take fruits 1 -2 hours after meal or 1 hour before meal.

3. Don’t drink tea—— Because tea leaves contain a high content of acid. This substance will cause the protein content in the food we consume to be hundred thus difficult to digest.

4. Don’t loosen your belt———- Loosening the belt after meal will easily cause the intestine to be twisted and blocked.



5. Don’t bathe———- ——- Bathing after meal will cause the increase of blood flow to the hands, legs and body thus the amount of blood around the stomach will therefore decrease, this will weaken the digestive system in our stomach.


6. Don’t walk about———- — People always say that after a meal walk a hundred steps and you will live till 99. In actual fact this is not true. Walking will cause the digestive system to be unable to absorb the nutrition from the food we intake.

7. Don’t sleep immediately—- ——– The food we intake will not be to digest properly. Thus will lead to gastric and infection in our intestine.
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I have My own Front

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Before and after Marriage

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Smart Patient

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Grandparent`s House Rules

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