Hollywood and Bollywood Movies!

5 things American Movies Teach Us:
1. Chinese have nothing better to do than teaching or practice Kung Fu.

2. More than 50% of U.S. population are FBI/CIA agents, working undercover.

3. The purpose of school system of U.S. is to promote Basketball/Baseball.

4. Aliens have special interest in attacking the U.S.

5. U.S. is a place where you can meet all mythical creatures like werewolves & vampires.

5 things Indian Movies teach us:
1. At least one of the identical twins is born evil.

2. While defusing a bomb, don't worry, whichever wire you cut... you always choose the right one".

3. A hero will show no pain while getting beaten up; but will show pain when a girl cleans up his wounds.

4. A detective can solve a case only when he is suspended from duty.
The most hilarious one...

5. If you decide to start dancing on the street, everyone you meet will know the steps.

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Indian Mother

A young Indian man excitedly tells his mother he's fallen in love and that he is going to get married.

He says, "Ma, I'm going to bring over 3 women and you try and guess which one I'm going to marry."

The mother agrees. The next day, he brings three beautiful women into the house and sits them down on the couch and they chat for a while.

Later, he says, "Okay Ma, guess which one I'm going to marry."

She immediately replies, "The one on the right."

"That's amazing, Ma. You're right. How did you know?"

The Indian mother replies, "I don't like her."

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What do women really want?

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur's youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, if after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

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Who is the dumbest?

1. The man who removes his shoes to enter a taxi.

2. The man who goes to the bank with a spanner to open an account.

3. The man who watches n who goes to bed with a ruler just to know how long he has slept.

4. The man who watches news on TV... and waves at the news reader.

5. A nurse who wakes up a sleeping patient simply becos she forgot to give him sleeping pills.

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I Hate My Job!!!

When you have an 'I Hate My Job' day, try this:

On your way home from work, stop at your pharmacy and go to the thermometer section and purchase a rectal thermometer. When you get home, lock your doors, draw the curtains and disconnect the phone so you will not be disturbed.

Change into very comfortable clothing and sit in your favorite chair. Open the package and remove the thermometer. Now, carefully place it on a table or a surface so that it will not become chipped or broken.

Now the fun part begins.

Take out the literature from the box and read it carefully You will notice that in small print there is a statement:

"Every Rectal Thermometer made by this company is personally tested and then sanitized."

Now, close your eyes and repeat out loud five times, "I am so glad I do not work in the thermometer quality control department at this company." HAVE A NICE DAY AND REMEMBER, THERE IS ALWAYS SOMEONE ELSE WITH A JOB THAT IS MORE OF A PAIN IN THE A$$ THAN YOURS!

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Smart Teachers

Top answers of smart teachers... If they don't know the answers:

1. I think the question is wrong...

2. I'll tell you tomorrow...

3. Don't ask foolish questions...

4. You will study this in the next class...

And the most important and the smartest one is:
5. Nice question, raise your hands those who know the answer.

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Funny Interview

Officer: What is your Name ?
Candidate: MP Sir.
Officer: Tell me properly.
Candidate: Mohan Pal Sir.
Officer: Your father's name ?
Candidate: MP sir
Officer: What does that mean ?
Candidate: Manmohan Pal sir.
Officer: Your native place.
Candidate: MP Sir.
Officer: Is it Madhya Pradesh ?
Candidate: No, Munnur Pal sir.
Officer: What is your qualification?

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