Kissing a Wife on her fore head is
respect,
.
.
kissing a Wife on her cheek is
care,
.
.
kissing a Wife on her eyes is care
& love,
.
.
kissing a Wife on her lips is love,
.
.
but kissing a Wife in front of her
Husband?
.

HUD HUD DABANGG DABANGG
DABANGG

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A newly Married Husband saved his Wife's number... on his mobile as...
"My Life"..
After one year of marriage he changed the number to
"My Wife"..
After 2 years of marriage he changed the number to
"Home"..
After 5 years of marriage he changed the number to
"Hitler"..!
! After 10 years of marriage he changed the number to
"Wrong Number"..!

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1st night:
Wife: Please, not today. Let's celebrate our honeymoon only after we understand each other.
Husband: My 'under' is already 'standing' for you!

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A married man keeps wondering every evening:
Should I go out and look at what I cannot fuck or stay home and fuck what I cannot look at.

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A lady goes to her doctor, complaining that her husband is 300% impotent. The doctor says, "I'm not sure I understand what you mean." She says, "Well, the first 100% you can imagine. In addition, he burnt his tongue and broke his finger!"

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A couple gets married, and thirty years later they're in the same hotel, in the same room. She takes off all her clothes, lies back on the bed,and spreads her legs. Her husband starts to cry. She says, "What's the matter?" He says, "Thirty years ago, I couldn't wait to eat it. Now it looks like, it can't wait to eat me."

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A wise man once said you should treat your woman like a vacuum cleaner. Once she stops sucking, change the fucking bag.

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Restaurant Advertisement:
We serve food as HOT as your neighbour's wife;
And beer as COLD as your own!

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A lady was having tremendous pain while trying to deliver a baby.
The husband prayed to God,"Oh Lord, please make the hole loose for the baby and then tight again for the Daddy".

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A man was shaving his beard. His wife was shaving down under.
Hubby: Appraisal meeting with the boss for promotion, have to loo good.
Wife: Same here.

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One day a wife of a hunter found him with his lover. She took a gun and aimed it at her husband's testicles.
Hunter: Stop! Don't do that! It's unfair! You don't give me a chance to save!
Wife: Ok, sway them to and fro.

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Bride's dad hands a note to the groom: Goods delivered are not returnable.
Groom gave another note back to the father: Contract void if the seal is broken.

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I don't resent my son for having a bigger penis than mine. I resent my wife for the fact that it's black.

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A businessman comes homefrom work, and before he can even say anything to his wife, she greets him with a deep, passionate kiss. Then she pulls him into the bedroom, pushes him downon the bed, unzips his fly and shows him a great time.
Afterward, he stares fondly at her, then asks, "All right, what did you do to the car this time?

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A husband and a wife were fighting about their sex life.
The hubby complains, "You never tell me when you are having an orgasm?"
The wife replies, "How can I?
You are never here."

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What makes a man happy?

Daughter is on the cover of Vogue, son on the cover of Sports Illustrated, mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of Missing persons.

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Bob joins a very exclusive nudists colony. On his first day he takes off his clothes and starts wandering around.
A gorgeous petite blonde walks by him and the man immediately gets an erection.
The woman notices his erection, comes over to him grinning sweetly and says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?"
She says: "You must be new here; let me explain. It's a rule here that if I give you an erection, it implies you called for me."
Smiling, she then leads him to the side of a pool, lays down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her andhappily lets him have his way withher.!!
Bob continues exploring the facilities. He enters a sauna, sits down, and farts. Within a few seconds a huge, horribly corpulent, hairy man with a firm erection lumbers out of the steamtowards him.
The Huge Man says: "Sir, did you call for me?"
Bob replies: "No, what do you mean?"
The Huge Man: "You must be new here; it is a rule that when you fart, it implies you called for me."
The huge man then easily spins Bob around, bends him over the bench and has his way with him.
Bob rushes back to the colony office. He is greeted by the smilingnaked receptionist: "May I help you?"
Bob says: "Here is your card and key back. You can keep the $500 joining fee."
Receptionist: "But Sir, you've only been here a couple of hours; you only saw a small fraction of our facilities.....
"Bob replies: "Listen lady, I am 58 years old, I get a hard-on twice a month, but I fart 15 times a day..!!!"

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A man and his Girlfriend..

A Married Man Was Visiting His “Girlfriend” When She Requested That He Shave His Beard.
“Oh James, I Like Your Beard, But I Would Really Love To See Your Handsome Face.”
James Replied, “My Wife Loves This Beard, I Couldn’t Possibly Do It, She Would Kill Me”
“Oh Please?” The Girlfriend Asked Again, In A Sexy Little Voice…
“Oh Really, I Can’t,” He Replies…”My Wife Loves This Beard!!”
The Girlfriend Asked Once More, And He Sighs And Finally Gives In.
That Night James Crawls Into Bed With His Wife While She Was Sleeping.
The Wife Is Awakened Somewhat, Feels His Face And Replies “Oh Michael, You Shouldn’t Be Here, My Husband Will Be Home Soon“

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Jack Betty Love story

Jack and Betty are celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary.
"Betty, I was wondering -- have you ever cheated on me?"
"Oh Jack, why would you ask sucha question now? You don't want to ask that question..."
"Yes, Betty, I really want to know. Please."
"Well, all right. Yes, 3 times."
"Three? When were they?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you were 35 years old and you really wanted to start the business on your own and no bank would give you a loan? Remember how one day the bank president himself came over to the house and signed the loan papers, no questions asked?"
"Oh, Betty, you did that for me! I respect you even more than ever, that you would do such a thing for me! So, when was number 2?"
"Well, Jack, remember when you had that last heart attack and you were needing that very tricky operation, and no surgeon would touch you? Remember how Dr. DeBakey came all the way up here,to do the surgery himself, and then you were in good shape again?"
"I can't believe it! Betty, I love that you should do such a thing for me, to save my life! I couldn't havea more wonderful wife. To do such a thing, you must really love me darling. I couldn't be more moved. When was number 3?"
"Well, Jack, remember a few years ago, when you really wanted to be president of the golf club and you were 17 votes short?":)

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How much do you love me?

Husband : I love U so much, I can't measure.
Wife : No just tell me....
Husband : Okay, I am like a cell phone & you are my sim card, i am nothing without you...
Wife : Wow ! that's so romantic...
Husband (saying to himself): Thank God she doesn't know, this is a Chinese phone, with FOUR sim cards

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