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Showing posts with label Girls/Boys Jokes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Girls/Boys Jokes. Show all posts

Ladki ka badla!

A bird was disturbing a girl all the time. . . . .
Finally she caught it & decided to kill it cruelly.
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She took it to the top of a building & dropped it. . . . . .

"After all Girls are so intelligent... "
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Girl`s Desire

Every girl wishes to have that guy who  finds her beautiful even when she is in  messed up dress and hair
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Men are Better Friends!

Women:
A wife was not at home for a whole night. So, the next morning, she tells her husband that she stayed at her girlfriend's apartment overnight.

The husband calls 10 of her best girlfriends and none of them confirm that.

Men:
A husband was not at home for a whole night. So, he tells his wife the next morning, that he stayed at his friend's apartment overnight.

The wife calls 10 of his best friends: 5 of them confirmed that he stayed at their apartments that night, and the other 5 are claiming that he still is there with them!
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Weekend Shopping!

Phone rings...

Girl: Hello.

Guy: My love how are you doing?

Girl: Am fine.

Guy: Will you be free during the weekend, you come to my house?

Girl: Am sorry, I can't make it because I will be attending my aunt's wedding and the next day I'l be busy, I'm so occupied.

Guy: Oh! Ok, was just planning to take you out for shopping, surprise you with an iPhone5, then buy you a new dress and the brazzilian hair you've been asking for...

Girl: I will be coming and I may even spend the whole weekend there if you want my love.

Guy: What about the wedding?

Girl: Which wedding, I was joking...

Guy: Me too...
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What makes a man happy?

Daughter is on the cover of Vogue, son on the cover of Sports Illustrated, mistress on the cover of Playboy and wife on the cover of Missing persons.
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Girls facebook status

"Wo Bewafa Nikla"
comments by guys....
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1. Dear wo apke layek tha hi nahi
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2.Tum kahan wo saala bandar kahan
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3.Humne to pehle hi kaha submere
jaise nahi hote
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4.Kabi hume try karke dekho pata
chalega bharosa kya hai
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5.Jo b hua achha hi hua dont wory
swetu
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Guys status on fb
"Wo Bewafa Nikli"
comments by close frnds
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1.Saaley teri shakal hi gadhe jaisi hai
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2.Tere se aaj tak koi pati hai ??
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3.Tujh jaiso se b ladki pategi..
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4.Tere se kuch nahi hoga dude chal ab uska no Mujhe de..:p
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Girl's night out

Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiast ­ic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want toruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, they made their way home. The next day the first woman's husband phones the other husband and said, "These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties." "That's nothing," said the other. "Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, 'From all of us at the Fire Station, We'll never forget you!' :)
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Girls vs Boys

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, “No. These are for boys.” The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy’s bike and says, “Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!” But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, “Look,only boys have these and your mom can’t buy you one!” The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, “My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want.”:)
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I m gonna commit a sucide

Ek ladki ne facebook pe status update kiya ''I Am standing at the edge of the bridge on my one feet , I am gonna commit a sucide here'' : : Kisi ne cmnt kiya :-1)' hey!! Wat happnd??' 2) :- no no no baby don do that 3) calm down share wid me wat's ur prob And etc etc : : But I just POKED her:
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Girl watching Titanic

Girl, while watching TITANIC :- how romentic ♥, AWWWWWWW, kya tum iss tarah mujhe payar kar sakte ho? ? ? ? Boy: main wo drawing bana sakta hu... ♥
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Whatdoes generelly A girls profile pic tells You?

.. 1. If she is very beautiful with 1000's of friends, its fake. . . 2. There is a guy in the pic along with her, she is already booked. . . 3. There are more than one girl in the pic, she is most probably the ugliest One. . . 4. The pic is taken from a side angle of her face, she is most probably fat. . . 5. The pic is taken from far away, definitely not a fake profile, just try to zoom in with your eye lenses to figure out more of her. . . 6. The pic is of a baby, cake, heart or any other stupid thing, most probablya teen who needs to grow up. . . 7. A pic with a ugly face, Click the back button as soon as you can before anyone catches you red handed :) . . 8. A pic with a beautiful face and all profile info hidden, she is probably the one for you :P but don't be so excited, she wont accept your friend request!
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A Man chating on Facebook..

Man: Hello, Sweet girl! Girl: Hi, Lover Boy :) Man: Info about u, please Girl: 15, female, curvaceous, cleavage, in Lag... and u? Man: mmh, I am in love already. I’m 52, male, 6 pack, around Lag. Girl: You're 52? Omg! Seriously? Same age as my Dad. Man: I’m just so into fresh young beautiful girls. Girl: Do you have a wife? Man: Yes, but not as seductive as you. I have a daughter, she is in her bedroom with her friend doing homework. Girl: Then why do you like young girls? Man: I love them because they are beautiful, not to mention fresh. Girl: I am also into older men with iPhones, cash and driving a large German car. Man: I can offer all of that and more! Girl: I think we should meet because you are in Lag and I am also there. Man: That would be nice, where do I pick you up tomorrow with my German car? Girl: Tomorrow I am going to school, it won’t be possible. Man: Or maybe over the weekend,going to school is very important. Girl: While still chatting, let me continue with my homework. I don’t want my dad to know that I am on FB :) he will be mad at me! Man: Which homework is that maybe I can assist you? Girl: It's a Math homework, my friend Tom is assisting me. But he is still a small boy. I need men with bigger tools. Man: Hey, your friend’s name is John? Exactly where in Lag are you? Girl: 12 basin road, ikoyi, lagos... and you? Man: Lucy, is that you??? Girl: Dad?!!!
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New Generation Girls...

MOM: You are nicely dressed up where are u going sweetheart? DAUGHTER: Thanx a lot mom,  .  I'm going to the washroom as i need a new facebook profile picture =D
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Har EK Friend Kamina Hota Hai

4 - 5 dost beer pee rahe the tabhi table par rakha mobile baja-
Boy:- Hello
GF:- jaanu main market me hu kya mai 50 hazar wala gold set lelu?
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.Boy:- Ha lelo
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.GF:- Ek silk suit bhi lelu 5500 ka hai
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.Boy:- Ha jaanu lelo, suno 2 - 4 lelo
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.GF:-Theek hai tumhara credit mere paas hai usi se le rahi hu
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.Boy:- Theek hai . .
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.All Friends:- Tu pagal hai kya?
ya tujhe chad gayi hai ? Ya tu ye batana chahta hai ki Tu apni Gf ko bahot pyaar karta hai?
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.Boy:- wo sab chodo aur pehle ye batao ye mobile kis ka hai...
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Jab Bhi Koi Bachha Paida Hota Hai...

To Sare Khandaan Wale Use Dekhne Aate Hai. Bachhe Ka Baap Bete Ko God MeinUtha Ke Bolta Hai “Mere Bete Ka Chehra To Mera Pe Gaya Hai” Maan Pyar Se Dekh Kar Bolti Hai “Iss Ki Aankhein Mere Pe Gayi Hai” Bachhe Ke Mama Dekh Ke Bolta Hai “Is Ke Haath Paon To Bilkul Mere Par Gaye Hai” Chacha Bhi Dekhta Hai Aur Bolta Hai “Arey Iski Muskurahat To Bilkul Mere Jaisi Hai” Phir Jab Wohi Bachha Bada Ho Kar Ladkiyaan Chedta Hai To Sare Khandan Wale Kehte Hai . . . “Pata Nahi Ye Kameena Kispe Gaya Hai?
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A Girl asked Pappu..

Gril: Wo kia hai jo cow k paas 4 or mere paas 2 hain? Pappu: legs Girl: wo kia hai jo tumhari pant main hai or meri pant main nai hai? pappu: paise Girl : wo kia hai jo log din main karne k bajaye raat ko bistar pe karte hain? Pappu : neend Girl: Woh kia hai jo larki pehli dafa karwate hoe pain ki waja se roti hai ? Pappu: kaan main chaid(Hole) Moral : aap bhi apni neeat(intention ) pappu ki tarhan rakhain SHukria!
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Ek ladke ko ladki se pyar ho gya lekin ladki ne use thukra dia

Ladke ne kaha tum 10 din k andarmujhse muhbbat ka iqrar kro gi Or ladka din rat barish me dhoop me us k ghar k samne khada raha ... 9 din k bad ladki ko sach me ladkeki mohbbat kaahsas ho gya us ne socha subha pyar ka iqrar krun gi lekin jab wo ladke ko milne gyi to ladka use wahan na mila aur 1 kagz mila jis par likha tha * * Tere chakkr main teri bahen set ho gyi hai Sorry Saali Sahiba.
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Ladkiya Apne BoyFrnd Ka NaamSave Krti hai,KuchAise

1. My Love 2. Sweetu 3. Darling 4. Sweet Heart 5. Honey Baby 6. Jaanu Or Ladke Apni GirlFrnd Ka Naam Kuch Aise Save Krte hai: 1. Sunda Halwai 2. Fatta Khana 3. Bhundu Foji 4. Sarpanch 5. Holdar 6. Bittu Langda 7. Pappu Mistri 8. customer care.... Hahahaha
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Girl: aaj mere dad ne mjhe tumhare
Sath bike pe jate huay dekh lia..
Boy: oohh!! kya bole wo??
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Girl: Bas wohi hua jiska darr Tha.
Bus ka kiraya wapis le lia... main ek marwari
family ki hoon na :P
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Dedicated To All Boys

Ladke Pagal Ho Jaatey
...Hain Pyar Me,
Baki Kasar Puri Ho Jaati
Hai
Intezaar Me.......
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Magar Ye Dard Ladkiya
Nahi
Samjhti,
Wo Toh Panipuri Khati
Firti Hain
Bazaar Me..
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Or LADKE Pade Rehte
Hain BEER BAR
Me............. ­ .!!!! :D
SHARE IF U AGREE......:
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