...
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odour.
"Do you wash?" the doc asked the rank young girl.
"Oh, yes", Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash
down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and wash up as far up
as possible."
"Well", the doc concluded, "Go home and wash, Possible...
Shikari Ne Teer Mara Samandar Ke Beech Me
Shikari Ne Teer Mara Samandar Ke Beech Me,
Khuda Ne Kya Cheez Banayee Do Tango Ke Beech Me...
Tamanna Hum Bhi Rakhte Hai
Mud Kar Jara Idhar Bhi Dekh Jalim, Ke Tamanna Hum Bhi Rakhte Hai,
Chut Tere Paas Hai To Kya, Lund Hum Bhi Rakhte Hai...
Chaku Se Kya Kaat Ti Ho, Dhaar To Talwar Me Hai
Chaku Se Kya Kaat Ti Ho, Dhaar To Talwar Me Hai;
Chaku Se Kya Kaat Ti Ho Dhaar To Talvar Me Hai;
Dupatte Se Kya Dhaak Ti Ho, Maal To Salwar Me Hai!...
Unhe Dekhne Ki Aas Nahi
Aab Unhe Dekhne Ki Aas Nahi;
Aab Unhe Dekhne Ki Aas Nahi;
Kyunki Aab Unki 'ASS' Dikhne Mein Itni Khaas Nah...
Nipple Se Tapak Raha Pasina
Nipple Se Tapak Raha Pasina;
Bheegi Hui Gaand Aur Lathpath Seena;
Ab Tumhi Batao "Ghalib, Ke Itni Garmi Mein;
Koi Kaise Chode Ghazab Ki Hasina...
Ladkiyan Bahut Sasti Thi
Door Gaon Mein Ek Basti Thi,
Wahan Ki Ladkiyan Bahut Sasti Thi,
Unki Gaa#D Mein Itni Masti Thi,
Jitna Dalo Utna Hasti Thi...
Tufaano Mein Chhatri Nahi Kholi Jaati
Tufaano Mein Chhatri Nahi Kholi Jaati;
Bra Se Pehle Panty Nahi Kholi Jaati;
'Viagra' Khana Shuru Kar, Mere Dost;
Kyunki Zubaan Aur Ungli Se Aurat Nahi Chodi Jaati...
Hothon Se Chhu Kar
Uss Ne Hothon Se Chhu Kar Lowde Pe Nasha Kar Diya;
Lund Ki Baat To Aur Thi, Uss Ne To Jhaton Ko Bhi Khada Kar Diya...
Arz kia hai
Chodte Chodte Subah Ho Gayi;
Lund Pe Pad Gaye Chhaale;
Choot Fat Ke Gufa Ho Gayi;
Wah Re Chodne Wal...
Unki Gali Se Guzre,To Chaubara Nazar Aaya
Unki Gali Se Guzre To Chaubara Nazar Aaya;
Unki Gali Se Guzre,To Chaubara Nazar Aaya;
Uski Maa Bahar Aa K Boli;
Gaand Faad Doongi Bhosdi Ke, Jo Dobara Nazar Aya...
Apne Pyaar Ka Karz Chuka Diya Humne
Aaj Uska Dil Phir Dukha Diya Humne;
Apne Pyaar Ka Karz Chuka Diya Humne;
Dekar Lalach Usse Kulfi Ka;
Andhere Me Apna Ustaad Chusa Diya Humne...
Chand Dekhkar Sitare Bane
Chand Dekhkar Sitare Bane;
Aasman Dekhkar Badal Bane;
Nadi Dekhkar Kinare Bane;
Aapke Karname Dekhkar NIRODH Ke Karkhane Bane...
Kandha Na Dena Mere Janaze Ko
Laut Jaati Hai Duniya Gham Hamara Dekh Kar;
Jaise Laut Jaati Hai Lehren Kinara Dekh Kar;
Aap Kandha Na Dena Mere Janaze Ko;
Kahin Phir Zinda Na Ho Jaoon Aapka Bhosda Dekh Kar...
Aankhon Mein Ansu Aur Chehre Par Hasi Hai
Unki Aankhon Mein Ansu Aur Chehre Par Hasi Hai;
Wah Wah! Wah Wah!
Unki Aankhon Mein Ansu Aur Chehre Par Hasi Hai;
Aisa Lagta Hai Ki Unki Lulli Zip Mein Fasi Hai...
Zinda Hai Magar Jinne Ka Iraada Badal Diya
Zinda Hai Magar Jinne Ka Iraada Badal Diya;
Waqt Ke Tufaan Ne Har Ek Vaada Badal
Diya;
Chal Sake Kissi Ke Sath Iss Kabil Na
Rahe Aab;
Thokaron Ne Hame Itna Jayada BadalDiy...
Tum ban jaao dost mere
Zindagi Taj Mahal ho jaye,Chandani khil ke kamal ho jaye,Tum jo ban jaao dost mere,Dil ki dhadkan bhi ek Ghazal ho jaye.
...
Hazaron me ek ho tum
Na khwabon me dekha, na nazaron me dekha,
Hazaron me ek humne tum hi ko dekha,
Gum dene wale to har pal hai yahan,
Har pal khushi dene walon me ek aap hi ko dekha.
...
Ae Dil, Tujhe Samjhaon Kaise...
Tu Hi Bata Ae Dil, Tujhe Samjhaon Kaise;
Jisse Chahta Hai Tu, Usse Nazdeek Laun Kaise;
Youn Toh Har Tamanna Har Ehsaas Hai Woh Mera;
Par Uss Ehsaas Ko Yeh Ehsaas Dilaun Kaise!
...
Aapki Muskrahat...
Hamaari Sanso Mein Ek Aahat Apki Bhi Hai;
Dil Ki Dhadkno Mein Ek Gungunahat Apki Bhi Hai;
Anjaan Hai Aap Shayad Iss Raaz Se;
Ki Hamaari Hansi Mein Ek Muskrahat Apki Bhi Hai
...
Dil Ki Baat...
Kuchh Socho Toh Tere Khayal Aa Jaata Hai;
Kuchh Bolon To Tera Naam Aa Jaati Hai;
Kab Tak Chupaon Dil Ki Baat;
Uski Har Ada Par Mujhe Pyaar Aa Jaata Hai!
...
Agar raat na hoti
Kudrat ke karishmon mein agar raat na hoti,
To khwab mein unse mulaqat na hoti,
Wo wada to kar gaye ki ayenge khwab mein,
Mare khushi ke neend na aye to kya kare...
Aapki muskan hamari kamjori hai
Aapki muskan hamari kamjori hai,
Keh na pana hamari majburi hai,
Aap kyon nahin samajhte is khamoshi ko,
Kya khamoshi ko zuban dena jaruri ha...
Aankhon mein mulakat
Koi ankhon se baat kar leta hai,
Koi ankhon mein mulakat kar leta hai,
Bada mushkil hota hai jawab dena,
Jab koi khamosh rehkar sawaal kar leta ha...
Kya tum bhi mere bina udaas rehte ho?
Bahut dur magar bahut paas rehte ho,
Aankho se dur magar dil ke paas rehte ho,
Mujhe bas itna bata do kya tum bhi mere bina udaas rehte h...
Dosti ka ehsaas...
Kasur na unka hai na mera,
Hum dono hi rishton ki rasmein nibhate rahe,
Woh dosti ka ehsaas jatate rahe,
Hum mohabbat ko dil mein chupate rahe.
...
Raaz dil ka...
Raaz dil ka dil mein chupate hai woh,
Samne aate hi nazar jhukate hai woh,
Baat karte nahi, ya hoti nahi,
Par shukar hai jab bhi milte hai muskurate hai wo...
Dard kya hota hai?
Us gulab se puchho dard kya hota hai;
Jo har waqt khamosh hi rehta hai;
Auro ko deta hai paigam-e mohabbat;
Aur khud kaanto ki chubhan ko sehta ha...
Mohabbat koi cheez nahi
Khafa na hona hamse agar tera naam juban par aa jaye,
Inkaar hua to seh lenge aur agar duniya hasi to keh denge;
Ke mahobbat koi cheez nahi, jo khairat mei mil jaye;
Chamchmata koi joognoo nahi,
jo har raat mei mil jaye;
Gulaab ka koi wo phool nahi,
jo har subeh khil...
Mere dil main tufaan kiska hai?
Dekho meri aankhon mein khwab kiska hai;
Dekho mare dil main tufaan kiska hai;
Tum kehte ho mere dil ke raaste se koi nahi gujra;
To fir yah pairon ke nishan kiske ha...
Kahan hain mohabbat teri
Wo aaj phir mile aankhein chaar hui;
Dil se dil ki phir ek baar takraar hui.
Kehne lage kahan hain mohabbat teri;
Hmne kaha wahin dafan hai jahan apki duniya abaad hu...
Dil Ki Baat
Na Main Pass Usko Bula Saka;
Na Main Dil Ki Baat Suna Saka;
Wo Hansi-Hansi Main Hi Chal Diye;
Aur Main Haath Tak Na Hila Saka!
...
Har phool ki ajab kahani hai
Har phool ki ajab kahani hai,
chup rehna bhi pyar ki nishani hai,
kahin koi zakhm nai phir bhi kyun dard ka ehsas hai,
lagta hai dil ka ek tukda aaj bhi uske paas hai.
...
Why men are better then Vibrators?
1. Vibrators cannot buy you expensive gifts.
2. Vibrators cannot take you out to Foriegn Vacations.
3. Vibrators cannot compliment you nor can they tell you that you are looking Sexxxy.
4. Vibratiors cannot talk to you after sex.
5. Vibrators cannot cuddle with you.
6. Vibrators cannot have loooong hours of foreplay with you, just to bring you in...
Sexual positions
A woman went to the doctor and complained that she was suffering from I knee pains.
"Do you indulge in any activity that puts a lot of pressure on your knees?" asked the doctor.
"Every night, my husband and I have sex on the floor doggy style."
"I see," said the doctor. "You know, there are plenty of other sexual positions?"
"Not if you want...
Fucking Contract
The parties hereto, the Fucker and the Fuckee, hereby agree to and accept the following terms.
1. The Fucker shall have the right to the minimum of one fuck in the
position(s) of the fucker's choice not less than once per calendar month
but no less often than once every 45 days.
a. The Fucker shall receive one additional fuck on the Fucker's birthday...
What's the right woman like?
Sitting in the bar a man asked his friend, "You're 40 years old. How come you are not married?"
His friend replied, "I just haven't found the right woman yet."
The man then asked, "What's the right woman like?"
The friend thought for a moment and said, "She's got to be real pretty,
loves to fuck and suck, occasionally take it straight up the...
Sex routine!
On their wedding night, the young bride told her groom, "Since we're
married now, we can arrange our sex life like this: In the evening if my
hair is done, that means I don't want sex at all.
If my hair is somewhat undone, that means I may or may not have sex.
Lastly if my hair is completely undone, that means I want sex."
The groom replied,...
Honeymoon Couple
Leaving the wedding reception the honeymoon couple hailed a cab to take them to their romantic boutique hotel in the hills.
The driver wasn't too sure how to get there and said he would ask directions when they got closer.
Meanwhile, the lovers couldn't wait and got down to it on the back seat.
Seeing a fork in the road the driver said, "I take...
Mahatma Gandhi`s autobiography
Wife caught Husband sleeping with his girlfriend. Furious and angry she aimed pistol at her husband.
Huband: Before you do anything silly let me explain. I read Mahatma
Gandhi's autobiography last night My Experiments with Truth. He used to
sleep with young women to check his will power and control over carnal
desires. I was just doing same.
Wife:...
Faster than Google
Pappu: You know a single sperm has 37.5 MB of DNA information in it.
That means that a normal ejaculation of about 6 million sperm represents
a data transfer of 1,587.5 TB in about 3 seconds.
Bunty: Amazing.
Pappu: Yep. And you thought nothing was faster than Google. I am really proud to be a boy. Great talent and great energ...
Excited Pappu
Pappu was dating with his new girlfriend in hotel room.
Girl Friend: `I demand good manners in bed, just like at the dinner table.`
Pappu climbs into bed slowly and says: `Honey, would you pass the boobs please?`...
Dangerous Dog
An
old man had a dog he just loved but the dog had the bad habit of
attacking anything that moved including people. His friends told him
that if he had the dog fixed he would lose his aggressions and quit this
behavior.
So, the old man had his dog fixed and a few days later was in his front
room when the mailman came up the steps. The dog jumped...
Effect Of Viagra
A parrot swallows a Viagra tablet. His owner, disgusted, puts him in the freezer to cool off.
Later when he opens the freezer, he finds the parrot sweating.
"How come you are sweating?" he asks.
The parrot replies, "Do you know how hard it is to open the legs of a frozen chicken?"...
Naughty Parrot
There was once an old man and a parrot living all alone together for like 40 years.
One day, the parrot came to the old man and said, "You know, I've never had a woman in my life."
So the old man, as a favour to his best friend, went to the pet store
and talked the owner into letting him use a female parrot for one night
for the fee of 40 dollars.
He...
Smart Gorilla
This
guy goes to the zoo one day. While standing in front of the gorilla's
cage, a gust of wind swept some dust into his eye. As he rubbed his
eyelid, the gorilla went crazy, bent open the bars, and beat the guy
senseless.
When the guy came to his senses, he reported the incident to the
zookeeper. Nodding, the zookeeper explained that pulling...
Uske Pyar Mein Tadapna Chhod Denge
Humne Socha, Unke Pyar Mein Tadapna Chhod Denge;
Unke Liye Tarasna Chhod Denge;
Dil Ko Bola, Tu Bhul Ja Use;
Dil Bola, Hum Dhadakna Chhod Denge!
...
Kabhi Socha Na Tha
Jagmagaate Shehar Ki Raanaaiyon Mein Kya Na Tha;
Dhoondne Niklaa Tha Jisko, Bas Vahi Chehra Na Tha;
Hum Vahi, Tum Bhi Vahi, Mausam Vahi, Manzar Vahi;
Faasle Badh Jaayenge Itne Kabhi Socha Na Tha!
...
Ae Maut, Tujhe Gale Lagana Chahta Hun
Ae Maut, Tujhe Gale Lagana Chahta Hun;
Kitni Wafa Hai Tujh Main Aazmana Chaahta Hun;
Logo Ne Bahut Rulaya Hai Mujhe;
Tera Saath Mile To Logo Ko Rulana Chahta Hun!
...
Zindagi Jeena Aasaan Nahi
Zindagi Jeena Aasaan Nahi Hota;
Bina Sangharsh Ke Koi Mahaan Nahi Hota;
Jab Tak Na Pade Hathode Ki Chot;
Pathar Bhi Bhagwaan Nahi Hota!
...
Kya Batau Mera Haal Hai Kaisa
Kya Batau Mera Haal Hai Kaisa;
Ek Din Guzarta Hai Ek Saal Jaisa;
Tadapta Hu Iss Kadar Bewafayi Mein Uski;
Yeh Tan Baanta Ja Raha Hai Kankal Jaisa!
...
Love is quiet strange, sometimes it becomes reason to live and sometimes reason to leave!
Love is quiet strange, sometimes it becomes reason to live and sometimes reason to leav...
I have got in you what I need in my life
As I watch the shooting star flash across the sky, I forget to ask for
wish as I have got in you what I need in my life - to live happily ever
after.
I love you, my dear sweetheart!
...
I Love You Honey
I must have wish upon a lucky star, to have someone as wonderful as you by my side!
I love you, honey!
...
I am so in love with You
Hold me in your arms and never let me go.
Kiss me on my lips but, so sweet and slow.
Tell me that you love me, but only if it is true.
Now, let me tell you something. I'm so in love with you!
...
Aaj Fir Aapki Yaad Aayi Hai
Har Ek Majar Par Udasi Chhayi Hai;
Chand Ki Roshni Mein Bhi Kami Aayi Hai;
Akele Acchhe The Hum Apne Aashiyane Mein;
Jane Kyun Tutkar Aaj Fir Aapki Yaad Aayi Ha...
Rone De Tu Aaj Humko
Rone De Tu Aaj Humko Aankhe Sujane De;
Baho Mein Le Le Aur Khud Ko Bheeg Jane De;
Hai Jo Seene Mein Quaid Dariya Woh Chhot Jayega;
Hai Itna Dard Ki Tera Daaman Bheeg Jayega!
...
Teri Yaad Mein Har Pal Khoya Hu Main
Teri Yaad Mein Har Pal Khoya Hu Main;
Tujhe Mehsus Kar Akele Roya Hu Main;
Na Jaane Kab Tera Deedar Ho;
Iss Intzaar Mein Khuli Aankho Se Soya Hu Ma...
Nafrat Ho Gayi Hai Hme Mohabbat Ke Naam Se
Jeete The Kabhi Hum Bhi Shaan Se;
Mehek Uthi Thi Fiza Kisi Ke Naam Se;
Guzre Hain Hum Kuchh Aise Makam Se;
Ke Nafrat Ho Gayi Hai Mohabbat Ke Naam Se...
Meri Zindagi To Ek Adhuri Kahani ...
Zindagi Ka Har Zakham Uski Meharbani Hai;
Meri Zindagi To Ek Adhuri Kahani Hai;
Chahta To Mita Dete Har Dard Ko;
Magar Yeh Dard Hi To Uski Aakhri Nishani Ha...
Kaash Aapse Mulaqat Hamaari Na Hoti
Kaash Aapki Surat Itni Pyaari Na Hoti;
Kaash Aapse Mulaqat Hamaari Na Hoti;
Sapno Mein Hi Dekh Lete Aapko;
To Aaj Milni Ki Itni Bekarari Na Hoti!
...
Chale Jayenge Apki Zindagi Se
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Humse Dur Jane Ka Bahana Na Bana Lena;
Bass Jane Ki Ek Wajah Bata Dena;
Khud Chale Jayenge Apki Zindagi Se;
Lekin Jahan Aapki Yaad Na Aaye;
Uss Jagah Ka Pata Bata Dena!
...