...
Life within death
Life within death Japanese Lantern, blooms during Winter and dries during Spring. Once it is dried, the bright red fruit is seen. ...
The Eagle chasing The Great Blue Heron
Bald Eagle chasing The Great Blue Heron
This Bald Eagle was chasing the Great Blue Heron away from the eggs in
her nest. It wasn’t trying to kill the Heron or she would have done so
long before this once in a lifetime shot was captured by Owen Deutsch....
The Maltese Tiger
The
Maltese tiger, or blue tiger, is a reported but unproven coloration
morph of a tiger, reported mostly in the Fujian Province of China. It is
said to have bluish fur with dark grey stripes...
Creative Lunch!
Cool Mom creates creative lunches to get her kids excited to eat.. great solution! ...
Why does a dumb cat fall while walking?
Why does a dumb cat fall while walking...
.
.
.
.
.
.
Coz the cat is dumb so it cant Mew. So Mew(coefficient of friction) is = ...
Baal Vivaah!
A bald man had 2 hair on his head.
They both fell in love with each other, but couldnt marry each other.
Why..
Kyunki Baal Vivaah apraadh hai!...
Get caught for Sins!
You will get caught 45 times if you commit 90 sins
.
.
.
why..
.
.
.
coz..
.
.
sin 90 = cot 4...
Talking Clock
A drunk was proudly showing off his new apartment to a couple of his friends late one night.
He led the way to his bedroom where there was a big brass gong and a mallet.
What's with that big brass gong?" one of the guests asked.
It's not a gong. It's a talking clock", the drunk replied. A talking clock? Seriously?" asked his astonished friend.
"Yup",...
Wife`s Photograph
A businessman entered a tavern, sat down at the bar, and ordered a double scotch on the rocks.
After he finished the drink, he peeked inside his shirt pocket, then he ordered another double scotch.
After he finished that one, he again peeked inside his shirt pocket and ordered another double scotch.
Finally, the bartender said, "Look, buddy, I'll...
First Fitness Freak Hollywood Actor
Q:- Can you name the Fitness Freak Hollywood actor who carries all his body building machines with him to wherever he goes....
A:- Gym Carry....
Sardar on Toilet
Sardar radio lekar toilet gaya. Bahar aane par biwi ne puccha; kyoji,
mazaa aaya? Sardar: saalo ne"JANA GANA MANA" Laga diya, khade khade
karna pada....
Drunk Driver
Leaving the pub after drinking heavily, this fellow got into his car and
decided that the best thing for him to do would be to follow the rear
lights of another car that was just pulling out.
Everything was fine for about three miles when the lights of the car in
front went out and the drunk driver smashed into the back of it.
“Hey, what do you...
Performance does not matter in IPL?
Dhoni same team since 3 year: Package 12 crore. Yuvraj 3 Switches (Punjab, Pune & now Bangalore): Package 14 crore. Moral : Performance doesn't matter....Job me switch karte raho... Package jyada ho jayeg...
Husband Wife`s chat on Facebook & Whatsapp
Difference between Husband Wife's chat on FB & Whatsapp.. On "WhatsApp": Wife: ghar kab aa rahe ho... Husband: pata nahi dimag mat khao.. On "FB wall": Wife: Dear when will u be back..you are the best Husband in the world. Aww i miss you so much. Come back soon... Husband: Thanks for being there always.. So lucky to have a wonderful Wife...
Hidden Talent
The young man was on his first date with the gorgeous young woman and decided to impress her with his abilities in wine tasting.
He told the wine steward to bring a bottle of 1985 Sterling Cabernet Sauvignon from their Carneros district vineyard.
Upon tasting the wine, the young man scolded the wine steward, "This is
obviously a 1987 vintage from...
Theory of Beer
A herd of buffalo can move only as fast as the slowest buffalo. When the
herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are
killed first.
This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the
general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the
regular killing of the weakest members.
In much the...
Attention All!
There was a husband and his wife sitting next to a drunk in a bar.
Suddenly the drunk stands up and yells, "ATTENTION ALL," and farts loudly.
The wife is extremely embarrassed, and the husband looks at the drunk and says, "Excuse me, you just farted before my wife."
The drunks replies, "I'm sorry, I didn't know it was her turn...
Seven Impossible Things to say when Drunk
1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. I'm not interested in fighting you.
5. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination. I'd hate to look like a fool!
6. Where is the nearest bathroom? I refuse to pee in this parking lot or on the side of the road.
7. I must...
20 Year Old Scotch!
An old guy walks into a bar and asks for a bottle of forty-year old
Scotch. The bartender, not wanting to give up the good liquor, purse a
shot of ten-year Scotch and figures that the guy won't be able to tell
the difference.
The guy downs the Scotch and says, "This Scotch is only ten years ten
years old! I specifically asked for forty-year old...
Things that are difficult to say when drunk
Things that are DIFFICULT to say when drunk:
1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Anaesthetist
4. Cinnamon
5. Chrysanthemum
Things that are VERY DIFFICULT to say when drunk:
1. Specificity
2. Rhipidistian-Amphibian Transition
3. Anti-constitutionalistically
4. Transubstantiate
5. Sphygmomanomet...
Overloaded with work?
If you feel overloaded with Work...
Immediately go to the nearest "Biological Anxiety Relief" (BAR) center
and place order for any one or more of the following Antidotes:
1: Work Isolating Neutralizing Extract (WINE)
2: Radioactive Un-work Medicine (RUM)
3: Bothersome Employer Elimination Rebooter (BEER)
4: Vaccino Officio Depression Killing Antigen...
I'm Jesus Christ
A drunk stammers out of a bar and runs right into two priests.
He says, "I'm Jesus Christ."
The first priest says, "No, son, you're not."
So the drunk says it to the second priest.
The second priest says, "No, son, you're not."
The drunk says, Look, I can prove it. He walks back into the bar with the two priests.
The bartender takes one look at the...
Mard kko bhi Dard hota hai
Ladki par hath uthaye to zalim;
Ladki se pit jaye to namard.
Ladki ko kisi ke sath dekh kar... lade to jealous;
Chup rahe to begairat.
Ghar se bahar rahe to awara;
Ghar me rahe to nakara.
Bachcho ko dante to buzdil;
Na dante to laparwah.
Biwi ko naukri se roke to shak karne wala;
Na roke to biwi ki kamai khane wala.Aakhir bechara ladka kare toh kya...
Love Ke The End
Ek ladka ek ladki ko bahut chahta tha, lekin apne pyaar ka izhaar karne se darta tha.
Ek din us ladke ne socha ki chahe jo bhi ho jaaye vo us ladki ko msg kar
ke 'I Love You' zaroor kahega aur apne prem ka izhaar karega.
Usne raat ko apne mobile pe 'I Love You' likha aur us ladki ke number
pe SMS send kar diya.
Jaise hi vo sone laga tabhi uske...
Life of a Student!
SCHOOL:
Apni toh paatshala, masti ki pathshala...
TUTION:
Idhar chala main udhar chala, jaane kahaan main kidhar chalaa...
MATHS:
Ajeeb dastan hai yeh, kahan shuru khana khatgam...
SCIENCE:
Aa khusi se kudkushi karle...
GEOGRAPHY:
Musafir hoon main yaaro, na ghar hai na thikaana...
ECONOMICS:
Kyu paisa paisa karti hai, paise pe kyu tu marti hai....
EXAM:
Zehrelein...
Shaadi Ke Side Effects
Bechaara shaadi shuda aadmi dukhi bhi nahi ho sakta...
Wife: I love you baby.
Husband (softly): I love you too.
Wife: Upset kyun lag rahe ho...???
Husband: Bas thoda mood off tha.
Wife: Doston ke saath to bade khush rehte ho, aur mere saath hi drame.
Husband (pyar se): Aisa kuch nahi jaanu, tabiyat thodi theek nahi hai.
Wife: Haan, agar abhi koi dost...
Bechara Doctor!
Doctor: Tabiyat kaisi hai ab?
Mareej: Pahle se jyada kharaab hai?
Doctor: Dawai kha li thi?
Mareej: Khali nahi thi bhari hui thi.
Doctor: I mean dawai le li thi?
Mareej: Ji aap hi se toh li thi.
Doctor: Bewakoof dawai pee li thi?
Mareej: Nahi ji dawai neeli thi.
Doctor: Abe gadhe dawai ko pee liya tha?
Mareej: Nahi ji peeliya to mujhe th...
Babaji ka thullu
Husband: I love you.
Wife: Babaji ka thullu.
Husband: I will die for you.
Wife: Babaji ka thullu.
Husband: I can't live without you.
Wife: Babaji ka thullu.
Husband: I can do anything for you.
Wife: Babaji ka thullu.
Husband: I will give you diamond ring.
Wife: Really???
Husband: Babaji ka thullu....
Height of Feeling Sorry!
Ek Budha ek ladki se takra gaya.
Budha ladki se bola: Sorry...
Ladki: Andha hai kya..... Dikhta nahi hai... Is umar mein bhi ye sab... Pata nahin kahan se aa jaate hain!!!
Yeh bolkar jaise hi woh ladki aage badhi, ek handsome sa ladka us se takra gaya.
Ladka: Sorry...
Ladki, sharmaate hue, "Koi baat nahin. it's okay!!!
Wo budhe uncle ye sab dekh rahe...
Suddh Desi Solutions
1. Agar aapko kutta kaat le to aap usay kaat lein, hisaab baraabar....
2. Doodh phat jaaye to safed dhagay se siii lein.... Kisi ko pataa nahi chalega.
3. Agar aap ke baal girtay hon to mundan karwa lein, Phir nahi girenge.....
4. Agar rang gora karna ho toh, machhli kha k doodh pee lein, Safed ho jaaoge....
5. Agar gale me dard ho to kisi se gala...
Friendship SMS
We are the best of friends.
Always remember that if you fall,
I`ii pick you up after I finish laughing!...
Friendship SMS
True friends are like mornings.
You can have them for the whole day;
but you can be sure they`ll be there
when you wake up tomorrow, next week,
next year, forever......
Friendship SMS
You are cool as Vodka:
As hard as Tequila;
As warm as Cognac;
As exotic as Amaretto;
And as special as Champgne!
Cheers to our Friendship!...
Good Night SMS
Welcome To Good Night Restaurant;
Menu:
Soft Pillow,
Warm Blanket,
Clean Bedsheets,
Sweet Dreams,
Sound Sleep,
Have a great visit.
Good Night!...
Good Night SMS
Saying "Good Night" is not a formality, it's reminding the person close
to you that you're remembered even during the last moments of the day.
Good Night!...
Good Night SMS
Life's cruelest irony:
The time you feel lonely is the time you most need to be by yourself...
Good Night!...
Good Night SMS
I don't know the actual meaning of maturity.
But for me, maturity is when a person hurts you and you try to understand their situation rather than hurting them back.
Good Night!...
The Simplest Solution
Had Pythagoras been alive today, probably he would have repented wasting those precious years in deriving his theorem....
Women are always right?
The only rule which every men should learn by heart in order to mark onset of harmony in his bed room....
Women`s psyche!
Numerous intellects would have propounded various concept to decode the
mysteries of the world, but there are still a few remaining needing an
extensive research and women is one of them....
Valentines SMS
Accidents do happen; I slip - I trip - I stumble, I fall and usually, I don't care at all.
But now I don't know what to do, because I slipped and fell in love with you!
Happy Valentine's day!...
Valentines SMS
Valentine's Day special gift IDEA:
1. Ask your wife what she wants.
2. Buy online.
3. Enter Your In-laws address.
4. Select 'Cash On Delivery'.
Happy Valentine's day!...
Valentines SMS
You're my soul sharing a single thought;
Two hearts but sharing a single beat;
You are the light of my life and smile.
Happy Valentine Day!...
Valentines SMS
It's hard to act as loving to one whom you really do not love.
But it's harder to act as not loving the person whom you really love!
Happy Valentine's Day!...
Valentines SMS
You're a
V: Vivacious
A: Alluring
L: Likeable
E: Enigmatic
N: Nice
T: Tranquil
I: Incredible
N: Natural and
E: Enchanting person.
I would love to have you as the Valentine of my life!...