Life imitating art
Given the rate at which humans are destroying themselves as well as the earth we inhabit this is a scary prediction, Life imitating art
The World's first Groundscraper
The World's first “groundscraper” - underground luxury hotel in China.
In April, 2012, ground has been broken on construction of a high-end hotel at the foot of Shanghai’s Tianmashan Tianma Mountain in a 100-meter-deep pit.
The hotel, named InterContinental Shimao Shanghai Wonderland, is expected to extend 19 stories into the bottom of the pit. It's 380-room luxury hotel surrounded by a 428,000 square-meter theme park. It's due to open in late 2014 or early 2015.
In April, 2012, ground has been broken on construction of a high-end hotel at the foot of Shanghai’s Tianmashan Tianma Mountain in a 100-meter-deep pit.
The hotel, named InterContinental Shimao Shanghai Wonderland, is expected to extend 19 stories into the bottom of the pit. It's 380-room luxury hotel surrounded by a 428,000 square-meter theme park. It's due to open in late 2014 or early 2015.
8 Things Women Hate to Hear
Women love to talk, but when it comes to listening there are a few
restrictions that need to be kept in mind. If you want to strengthen
your relationship with the women folk in your family, neighborhood or
friend circle, then keep a few precautionary rules in your mind while
talking to women. Let us figure out the don’ts or rather the 8 things
that you should not say to women.
10 Foods that kill your Sex Drive
There are tons and tons of aphrodisiacs which boost your libido and get you in the mood. But, have you heard about âœanaphrodisiacsâ"? Anaphrodisiacs are foods that hamper your sex drive. How often have you found yourself in the situation where you or your partner were âœnot in the moodâ"? Well, it could be these food items that are causing low libido and playing havoc with your sex life.
6 Things Your Pee is Trying to Tell You
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| What is your pee trying to tell you? |
Recommended methods of Cancer Prevention
Red Wine: Red wine is made from skin of grapes which contains resveratrol and other phytochemicals that have antioxidant and anti inflammatory properties. Researches show that a glass of wine a day can prevent a wide range of cancers like leukaemia, skin as well as breast cancer.
Healthy Sex Life Habits
A great sex life involves more than having good technique. It is a lifestyle that expands beyond the bedroom and into the everyday. What you do or don’t do for your heart, mind, and body affects your sexual health. If you are finding any difficulties during sex such as a lagging libido, waning stamina or erectile dysfunction, you may find that adopting certain painless lifestyle changes will boost your sex life and make you healthier and happier. It will also make her happier. And if she’s happy, you will certainly be getting some.
Recomanded Read :- Give Her A Sensual Massage
Female Anatomy Guide
While some guys have been educated in female anatomy and in the practice of pleasing a woman, most guys fumble around like a donkey on ice skates trying to find a way -- any way -- to get her to reach orgasm. Today is your lucky day if you're a part of the latter group because you're going to learn the ins and outs of the female anatomy and how to give her orgasms. So, let's start at the top, shall we?
Steps To Great Foreplay
Although foreplay is simply a prelude to sex for some, it can definitely become the main course rather than just the appetizer. Although I'm certain you know how to kiss and undress a woman, these six additional tips might just turn your sex sessions into passionate all-nighters.
Give Her A Sensual Massage
She loves massages and she loves sex, so wouldn't it be spectacular if you could combine the two acts and create a night that she won't soon forget? Whether you want to add a little spice to a fizzling romance or you're looking for a way to impress a new lover, a sensual massage is your one-way ticket to Pleasureville.
6 Rear-Entry Positions
Asaram Bapu`s entertainment in Jail
don't get surprise if Asaram Bapu get entertained
by Poonam Pandey in jail. :-)
10 Commandments Of E-Mail
Thou shalt include a clear and specific subject line.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needs.
Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sends it.
Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
Thou shalt not curse, flame, Spam or USE ALL CAPS.
Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.
Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.
When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.
And, Here`s the "Golden Rule" of E-Mail:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.
Thou shalt edit any quoted text down to the minimum thou needs.
Thou shalt read thine own message thrice before thou sends it.
Thou shalt ponder how thy recipient might react to thy message.
Thou shalt check thy spelling and thy grammar.
Thou shalt not curse, flame, Spam or USE ALL CAPS.
Thou shalt not forward any chain letter.
Thou shalt not use e-mail for any illegal or unethical purpose.
Thou shalt not rely on the privacy of e-mail, especially from work.
When in doubt, save thy message overnight and reread it in the light of the dawn.
And, Here`s the "Golden Rule" of E-Mail:
That which thou findest hateful to receive, sendest thou not unto others.
Technical Fult
A priest, a drunkard, and an engineer were all being led to the
guillotine to be executed. They ask the priest if he wants to face
upward or downward when he meets his fate.
The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies.
They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
Next, the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest.
They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. So they release the drunkard as well.
The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I see what your problem is!"
The priest says that he would like to die face up, so that he will be looking toward heaven when he dies.
They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. The authorities take this as divine intervention and release the priest.
Next, the drunkard comes to the guillotine. He also decides to die face up hoping that he will be as fortunate as the priest.
They raise the blade of the guillotine and release it. It comes speeding down and suddenly stops just inches from his throat. So they release the drunkard as well.
The engineer is next. He too decides to die facing up. They slowly raise the blade of the guillotine, when suddenly the engineer says, "Hey, I see what your problem is!"
Globalization
Question: What is the truest definition of Globalization?
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.
That, my friends, is Globalization!!
Answer: Princess Diana's death.
Question: How come?
Answer: An English princess with an Egyptian boyfriend crashes in a French tunnel, driving a German car with a Dutch engine, driven by a Belgian who was drunk on Scottish whisky, (check the bottle before you change the spelling) followed closely by Italian Paparazzi, on Japanese motorcycles; treated by an American doctor, using Brazilian medicines. This is sent to you by an American, using Bill Gates's technology, and you're probably reading this on your computer, that use Taiwanese chips, and a Korean monitor, assembled by Bangladeshi workers in a Singapore plant, transported by Indian lorry-drivers, hijacked by Indonesians, unloaded by Sicilian longshoremen, and trucked to you by Mexican illegals.
That, my friends, is Globalization!!
Mass Mail
The husband finally wised up to the fact that his wife was less than
faithful. He hired a private investigator to follow her and, in less
than a week, had all the information that he needed on the 'other man.'
The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90s and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be a sophisticated and business-like manner. He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover:
Sir,
It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next.
The 'other man' was highly amused by the husband's formal manner and sent the following reply:
Dear Sir,
I have received a copy of the your mass mailing this morning. You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your office's auditorium.
The husband convinced himself that his would still be a loving and trustworthy marriage had not this S.O.B. come onto the scene. Being a man of the 90s and all, he decided to handle the matter in what he judged to be a sophisticated and business-like manner. He sent the following e-mail to his wife's lover:
Sir,
It has been brought to my attention that for some time now you have been carrying on an affair with my wife. So that we may settle this matter in an intelligent fashion, please be at my office at 3 PM on Friday next.
The 'other man' was highly amused by the husband's formal manner and sent the following reply:
Dear Sir,
I have received a copy of the your mass mailing this morning. You may be advised that I will attend the scheduled conference in your office's auditorium.
Super Computer
The Super Computer stood at the end of the Computer Company's production
line. At which point the guided tour eventually arrived. The salesman
stepped forward to give his prepared demo.
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
"This", he said, "is the Super Computer. It will give an intelligent answer to any question you may care to ask it".
At which a Clever Guest stepped forward - there is always one - and spoke into the Computer's microphone.
"Where is my father?" he asked.
There was a whirring of wheels and flashing of lights that the manufacturers always use to impress lay people, and then a little card popped out.
On it were printed the words: Fishing off Goa.
Clever Guest laughed.
"Actually", he said, "My father is dead"!
It had been a tricky question! The salesman, carefully chosen for his ability to think fast on his feet, immediately replied that he was sorry the answer was unsatisfactory, but as computers were precise, perhaps he might care to rephrase his question and try again?
Clever Guest thought, went to the Computer and this time said, "Where is my mother's husband?"
Again there was a whirring of wheels and a flashing of lights. And again a little card popped out. Printed on it were the words, "Dead. But your father is still fishing off Goa."
Email Heights
HEIGHT OF REPETITION: Forwarding an email to someone and receiving the
same email forwarded back to you by someone in the receiving chain.
HEIGHT OF ISOLATION: Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE: Two persons fighting through emails.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS: Receiving no emails for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION: The email server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS: Writing an intimate email and doing a 'Reply All.'
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS: A person sending email to himself.
HEIGHT OF ISOLATION: Two persons sitting side by side using emails to communicate with each other.
HEIGHT OF COWARDICE: Two persons fighting through emails.
HEIGHT OF HELPLESSNESS: Receiving no emails for a week.
HEIGHT OF FRUSTRATION: The email server being down.
HEIGHT OF CARELESSNESS: Writing an intimate email and doing a 'Reply All.'
HEIGHT OF ACHIEVEMENT: A person sending email to a girl wanting to become friends and getting a reply.
HEIGHT OF TIMEPASS: A person sending email to himself.
Microsoft Support Office
There was a pilot flying a small single engine charter plane, with a
couple of very important executives on board. He was coming into Seattle
airport through thick fog with less than 10 miles visibility when his
instruments went out. So, he began circling around looking for a
landmark. After an hour or so, he starts running pretty low on fuel and
the passengers are getting very nervous.
Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"
To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane."
The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.
"Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."
Finally, a small opening in the fog appears and he sees a tall building with one guy working alone on the fifth floor. The pilot banks the plane around, rolls down the window and shouts to the guy, "Hey where am I?"
To this, the solitary office worker replies, "You're in a plane."
The pilot rolls up the window, executes a 275 degree turn and proceeds to execute a perfect blind landing on the runway of the airport 5 miles away. Just as the plane stops, so does the engine as the fuel has run out.
The passengers are amazed and one asks how he did it.
"Simple," replies the pilot, "I asked the guy in that building a simple question. The answer he gave me was 100 percent correct but absolutely useless, therefore that must be Microsoft's support office and from there the airport is just five miles due East."
Printer Problem
When my printer's type began to grow faint, I called a local repair shop
where a friendly man informed me that the printer probably needed only
to be cleaned.
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Because the store charged $50 for such cleanings, he told me, I might be better off reading the printer's manual and trying the job myself.
Pleasantly surprised by his candor, I asked, "Does your boss know that you discourage business?"
"Actually, it's my boss's idea," the employee replied sheepishly. "We usually make more money on repairs if we let people try to fix things themselves first."
Google knows Everything
My friend Nancy and I decided to introduce her elderly mother to the
magic of the Internet. Our first move was to access Google, and we told
her it could answer any question she had.
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom."
"Think of something to ask it."
As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
Nancy's mother was very skeptical until Nancy said, "It's true, Mom."
"Think of something to ask it."
As I sat with fingers poised over the keyboard, Nancy's mother thought a minute, then responded, "How is Aunt Helen feeling?"
Bill Gates in Heaven
When Bill Gates died, he went up to Heaven, where Saint Peter showed him
to his house; a beautiful 20 room house, with grounds and a tennis
court. Bill Gates was pleased, and spent many months enjoying the
amenities of Heaven.
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to find St. Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better?!"
"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."
One day, he was enjoying one of Heaven's many fine parks, when he ran into a man dressed in a fine tailored suit.
"That is a nice suit, my friend," said Gates. "Where did you get it?"
"Actually," the man replied, "I was given a hundred of these when I got here. I've been treated really well. I got a mansion on a hill overlooking a beautiful hill, with a huge five-hundred acre estate, a golf course, and three Rolls Royces."
"Were you a pope, or a doctor healing the sick?" asked Gates.
"No," said his new friend, "Actually, I was the captain of the Titanic."
Hearing this made Gates so angry that he immediately stormed off to find St. Peter.
Cornering Peter, he told him about the man he had just met, saying, "How could you give me a paltry new house, while you're showering new cars, a mansion, and fine suits on the Captain of the Titanic? I invented the Windows Vista operating system! Why does he deserve better?!"
"True," Peter replied, "But the Titanic only crashed once."
Great Writer
There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.
When asked to define "great" he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"
He now writes error messages for Microsoft Corporation.
Customer Support
I had been doing Tech Support for Hewlett-Packard's DeskJet division for
about a month when I had a customer call with a problem I just couldn't
solve.
She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this "yellow" construction paper?"
She could not print yellow. All the other colors would print fine, which truly baffled me because the only true colors are cyan, magenta, and yellow. For instance, green is a combination of cyan and yellow, but green printed fine.
Every color of the rainbow printed fine except for yellow. I had the customer change ink cartridges. I had the customer delete and reinstall the drivers. Nothing worked. I asked my co-workers for help; they offered no new ideas.
After over two hours of troubleshooting, I was about to tell the customer to send the printer in to us for repair when she asked quietly, "Should I try printing on a piece of white paper instead of this "yellow" construction paper?"
My Computer
A Help desk guy speaking to a lady user...
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on ur computer from my computer???!!
Help desk: there is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ??!!!
Help desk: Double click on "My Computer".
Lady: I can't see your computer...
Help desk: No... click on "My Computer" on your computer.
Lady: How the hell can I click on ur computer from my computer???!!
Help desk: there is an icon labelled "My Computer" on your computer... double click on it...
Lady: What the hell is your computer doing on my computer ??!!!
Pretentious parrot!!
A lady was walking down the street to work and she saw a parrot on a perch in front of a pet store.
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly,"
The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly,"
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes ?"
And the bird replied, "You know."
The parrot said to her, "Hey lady, You are really ugly,"
The lady was furious! She stormed past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot and it said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly," She was incredibly ticked now.
The next day the same parrot again said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly,"
The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and to get rid of the bird if they didn t do something about it. The store manager apologized profusely and promised he would make sure the parrot didn t say it again.
When the lady walked past the store that day after work the parrot called to her, "Hey lady."
She paused and said, "Yes ?"
And the bird replied, "You know."
How Dogs Are Better Than Men
1. Dogs don t have problems expressing affection in public.
2. Dogs miss you when you are gone.
3. You can train a dog.
4. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
5. Dogs understand what "NO" means.
6. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
7. When dogs play "fetch", they don t laugh at how you throw.
8. Dogs are color blind.
9. Dogs understand if some of their friends aren’t allowed to come inside.
2. Dogs miss you when you are gone.
3. You can train a dog.
4. Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
5. Dogs understand what "NO" means.
6. Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
7. When dogs play "fetch", they don t laugh at how you throw.
8. Dogs are color blind.
9. Dogs understand if some of their friends aren’t allowed to come inside.
Focus Hard
Teacher: What is the name of the capital city of Punjab ?
Pappu: Amritsar.
Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Banto?
Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?
Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.
Pappu: Amritsar.
Teacher: Pappu, you are wrong, you need to focus more on your studies.
Pappu: Please madam, can I ask you a few questions.
Teacher: Yes, go ahead.
Pappu: Do you know Jeeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Preeto ?
Teacher: No.
Pappu: Do you know Banto?
Teacher: (Angry) Hell no! Who are all these people and why do you ask ?
Pappu: Teacher, you need to Focus more on your husband.
Pappu`s Honesty
A lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping. It was found by Pappu and returned to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny and strange. When I lost my bag there was a 500 rupee note in it. Now there are ten 50 rupee notes."
Pappu quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmmm.... That's funny and strange. When I lost my bag there was a 500 rupee note in it. Now there are ten 50 rupee notes."
Pappu quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Red Duck
A kindergarten teacher handed out a coloring page to her class.
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Pappu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
On it was a picture of a duck holding an umbrella. The teacher told her class to color the duck in yellow and the umbrella green, however, Pappu, the class rebel, colored the duck in a bright fire truck red.
After seeing this, the teacher asked him, "Pappu, how many times have you seen a red duck?"
Young Pappu replied with, "The same number of times I've seen a duck holding an umbrella."
Empty Head
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of blood.
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Pappu shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Trying to make the matter clearer, he said, "Now class, if I stood on my head, the blood as you know, would run into it and I should turn red in the face."
"Yes, sir," the class said.
"Then why is it that while I am standing upright in an ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?"
Pappu shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
Strawberry Farm
A farmer was driving along the road with a load of manure.
A little boy, Pappu, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Manure," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked Pappu.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," Pappu advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
A little boy, Pappu, playing in front of his house, saw him and called, "What've you got in your truck?"
"Manure," the farmer replied.
"What are you going to do with it?" asked Pappu.
"Put it on strawberries," answered the farmer.
"You ought to live here," Pappu advised him. "We put sugar and cream on ours."
Legendary Nokia phones: A reminiscence
Microsoft dreamt of
putting a computer on every desk; Nokia dreamt of putting a mobile phone in
every pocket. Among the pioneers and leaders in their segment, each has gone a
long way; and now they have decided to join hands. Nokia's legendary handset
business that ruled the world for an unquestioned 14 years from 1998 now
dissolves into Microsoft. Here is a glimpse of the much lauded handsets from
the house of Nokia.
What Happens when Boyfriend Becomes Husband
You have been in a long-term relationship and have finally decided to
tie the knot. You know everything about your boyfriend, his likes,
dislikes, habits and lifestyle. So, you are prepared for a life together
sans any surprises for sure. Well, think again! 'Love marriages do not
have an element of surprise' is a myth. Ask around and couples who got
married after a long relationship will affirm. You might not expect but
there are several things you might not be aware of and discover only
after your boyfriend becomes your husband. Well, read on to know about
certain changes and surprises that you should keep yourself prepared for
after getting into a love marriage.
Top Foods to Make You Happy
It is common knowledge that stress remains the biggest healthcare
challenge for most people. From teenagers to those in their retirement
years, everyone seems to struggle with low mood or feeling anxious at
some point. Contemporary lifestyles are hard to tackle and we need
simple, safe measures to deal with it. Rather than using mood-elevating
pills, using food as a therapy for keeping yourself happier seems like a
wiser choice. Here, look at some of the foods, which are capable of
uplifting our spirits.
Start your day with milk
Milk is among the few natural foods that contain an absorbable form of tryptophan,
which helps to raise serotonin levels. Milk is enriched with many
antioxidants that help to neutralise the damaging action of free
radicals on the neurotransmitters of the brain. Milk also contains
vitamins B12 and D that are required for fighting away stress. Using
low-fat milk is suggested to control your daily intake of dietary fat.Fight Hair Loss with these 6 Common Foods
Do you fear tying your hair in a ponytail because of your receding
hairline, courtesy hair fall? Do you shudder from looking at a bunch of
hair strands in the shower? Well, what you eat may affect not just your
skin, but your hair too. Find out which foods have the magical potion
that can help you get rid of the stocked worries!
Educated Monkey
A police officer came upon a terrible wreck where the driver and
passenger had been killed. As he looked upon the wreckage a little
monkey came out of the brush and hopped around the crashed car.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
"You can understand what I am saying?" asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down."Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?"
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?"
The monkey motioned "kissing."
"They were kissiing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"Now wait, you are saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked."
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.
The officer looked down at the monkey and said "I wish you could talk."
The monkey looked up at the officer and shook his head up and down.
"You can understand what I am saying?" asked the officer.
Again, the monkey shook his head up and down."Well, did you see this?"
"Yes," motioned the monkey.
"What happened?"
The monkey pretended to have a can in his hand and turned it up by his mouth.
"They were drinking?" asked the officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?"
The monkey pinched his fingers together and held them to his mouth.
"They were smoking marijuana?"The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What else?"
The monkey motioned "kissing."
"They were kissiing, too?" asked the astounded officer.
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"Now wait, you are saying your owners were drinking, smoking and kissing before they wrecked."
The monkey shakes his head "Yes."
"What were you doing during all this?"
"Driving" motioned the monkey.
Doggumentry
A wife says to her husband one weekend morning, "We`ve got such a clever dog. He brings in the daily newspapers every morning."
Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
The wife responded, " But we`ve never subscribed to any papers!"
Her husband replied, "Well, lots of dogs can do that."
The wife responded, " But we`ve never subscribed to any papers!"
Logic
`Why do we have two humps?` asked the son. `That is so that we can go for days and weeks without water. We can store it in the humps.`
`Why do we have very long eye lashes?`
`That,` he was told, `is to protect the eyes from the sand in a sand storm.`
`And why do we have bulbous looking feet?`
`That is so that we can travel twice as fast through the desert.` `Dad,` asked the young camel, `what the hell are we doing in this zoo?`
The life of man!
GOD created the DONKEY and told him, `You will work tireless from
sunrise up to sunset, carrying heavy bags on your back, you will eat
grass. You will not have intelligence and you will live 50 years. You
will be a DONKEY!`
The DONKEY answered, `I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!` and God gave him 20 years.
GOD created DOG and told him ` You will look after man`s house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25 years, You will be a DOG.`
The DOG answered `GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!` and GOD gave him 10 years.
GOD created the MONKEY and told him, `you will jump from branch to branch , you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!`
The MONKEY answered ` GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!` and GOD gave him 10 years.
Finally GOD created MAN and told him, `you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.
The MAN answered, GOD I will be a man but living 20 years is not enough, why don`t you give me the 30 years that the DONKEY refused, the 15 years that the DOG didn`t want and the 10 years that the MONKEY refused ?`
That was exactly what GOD did, and since then: MAN lives 20 years like a MAN, then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back, then when his children leave he spends 15 years like DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets old, retires and spends 10 years like a MONKEY, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren.
The DONKEY answered, `I will be a DONKEY, but living 50 years is too much, give me only 20 years!` and God gave him 20 years.
GOD created DOG and told him ` You will look after man`s house, you will be his best friend, you will eat whatever they give you and you will live 25 years, You will be a DOG.`
The DOG answered `GOD, living 25 years is too much, give only 10 years!` and GOD gave him 10 years.
GOD created the MONKEY and told him, `you will jump from branch to branch , you will do silly things, you will be amusing and you will live 20 years, you will be a MONKEY!`
The MONKEY answered ` GOD, living 20 years is too much , give me only 10 years!` and GOD gave him 10 years.
Finally GOD created MAN and told him, `you will be a MAN the only rational being on this earth and you will use your intelligence to control other animals, you will dominate the world and you will live for 20 years.
The MAN answered, GOD I will be a man but living 20 years is not enough, why don`t you give me the 30 years that the DONKEY refused, the 15 years that the DOG didn`t want and the 10 years that the MONKEY refused ?`
That was exactly what GOD did, and since then: MAN lives 20 years like a MAN, then he gets married and spends 30 years like a DONKEY, working and carrying the load on his back, then when his children leave he spends 15 years like DOG looking after the house and eating whatever is given to him. Then he gets old, retires and spends 10 years like a MONKEY, jumping from house to house or from children to children, doing silly things to amuse his grandchildren.
Poor turtle!
After recovering, he slowly climbed the tree again, jumped, and fell to the ground. The turtle tried again and again while a couple of birds sitting on a branch watched his sad efforts.
Finally, the female bird turned to her mate. "Dear," she chirped, "I think it`s time to tell him he`s adopted."
jumped into the air waving his front legs and crashed to the ground.
Blind as a bat
A vampire bat came flapping in from the night covered in fresh blood and
parked himself on the cave`s roof to get some sleep. Soon all the other
bats smelled the blood and began hassling him about where he got it. He
told them to shut up and let him get some sleep, but they persisted
until he finally gave in.
"OK, follow me."
He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" "YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Well I didn`t!"
"OK, follow me."
He flew out of the cave with hundreds of bats behind him. Down through a valley they went, across a river and into a forest of trees. Finally he slowed down and all the other bats excitedly milled around him.
"Do you see that tree over there?" "YES, YES, YES!!" the bats all screamed in a frenzy.
"Well I didn`t!"
Jumping Kangaroo !!
A kangaroo kept getting out of his enclosure at the zoo. Knowing that he
could hop high, the zoo officials put up a ten foot fence. He was out
the next morning, just roaming around the zoo.A twenty foot fence was put up. Again he go out.
When the fence was forty feet high, a camel in the next enclosure asked the kangaroo, "How high do you think they`ll go?"
The kangaroo said, "About a thousand feet, unless somebody locks the gate at night!"
How to Woo Your Spouse on Honeymoon
Couples who are getting married after a long-term relationship already love each other. They just need to remind themselves and their partner from time to time about this. While, those who found their better halves through an arranged setup are just starting their journey to discover each other as a couple.
Well, whether you are finding love or rediscovering its magic, what can be a better time and place than your honeymoon! So, here are a few simple gestures through which couples can make their spouse fall in love with them on their honeymoon.
For love marriages
Couples in a love marriage lose the charm in their relationship because of the lack of attention or negligence from their lover. Honeymoon is a special time for such couples, where even the simplest effort can go a long way in helping them to reconnect with each other.Woo your wife
Guys, here are some tips to make your woman fall in love with you once again:-
- Recreate your first date on your honeymoon.
- Compliment her in front of strangers. Also, hold hands when you are going out.
- Make love notes that are filled with precious memories of your relationship. And, hide them in the room for her to find.
- If your wife loves public display of affection, then confess your love in front of strangers. This way she will know how deeply you care for her.
Woo your husband
Most men are not too good at expressing their feelings, so girls, here is how you can do the needful instead:-
- Way to a man’s heart indeed lies through his stomach. So, sneak into the hotel kitchen and take the chef’s help to cook a surprise dinner for him.
- Plan a surprise date for him. After all, he has been doing that for long, so time to return the favour we say.
- Tease the kid in him with a treasure hunt game in your hotel room. We don’t need to add how it should end, do we?
- Tantalise his senses by packing some special lingerie for the time between the sheets. Also, surprise him with moves which he has never seen before.
If you have been together for long, you already know each other well enough. This will make your job a bit simple.
For arranged marriages
In an arranged marriage, there is little scope for boredom. You two are discovering each other, and creating fresh and special memories. So, instead of feeling shy, you can use the seclusion and privacy to your full advantage.Woo your wife
Guys, here are some tips for you to express your love for your wife:-
- You have never officially proposed her, so why not do this now? Arrange for a romantic night with flowers, gifts, and a special ring. Get down on one knee and pop the question. Here is a bright side to this gesture; you already know her answer!
- Show interest in her life and activities. The best way to get close to her is to be a good listener.
- On honeymoon, sex is a matter of immense curiosity for couples. She will love it if you initiate the first move. But, do so gently and lovingly.
- Never shy away from eye contact, and do not leave her alone. Click as many pictures as possible to create your memories of love.
Woo your husband
Girls, here are some tips to make your husband fall in love with you:-
- Show interest in sports when you are together, guys really like that.
- If your hubby is shy, you can bring up the topic of lovemaking. Leave him hints that physical intimacy is not a problem.
- Shower your hubby with attention and compliments (guys, love it too!). He will surely acknowledge your efforts and this will help you to discover love in your bond.
- Treat him with a smile and remind him how special this alone time is for you.
Honeymoon phase in an arranged marriage can be characterised by certain awkward and silent moments as well. It is best to laugh at these awkward parts together to relieve each other's shyness.
Whether love marriage or arranged, couples need to connect and discover the love in their relationship time and again. So, make your honeymoon special by creating some loving memories with these tips.
7 Things Men Should Stop Doing after Becoming Husbands
Boys will be boys! But then, marriage is a life changing experience for
everyone. The transition from bachelorhood to married life is tough for
most men and their better halves. You may not realise that something
that is insignificant to you might not be so trivial for your wife. The
best way to avoid dampening of the new romance is to accept and
understand that you are no longer a bachelor. So, here are some habits
that you should think about changing before you become a 'husband'.
Getting intimate with sports and video games
If you are used to slumping in front of the television or the gaming console after you get back home from work, it is a habit that you must ‘quit’. C'mon guys, as a husband you should think about interesting 'bedroom games', not those video games. Start paying attention to your wife, unless you want to spend your nights cuddling your television set!
Remember, you will be living with a woman who is your life partner and not a baby sitter. So, with the innocence of a child and attributes of a real man, get ready to become a husband.
Calling out for keys and socks
Every woman expects her husband to be responsible. So, take care of your
basic stuff. Know where your socks, keys, wallet and watch are, instead
of calling her for every little thing. Your wife will love and
appreciate you more if you behave responsibly regarding these small
things.
Getting intimate with sports and video games
If you are used to slumping in front of the television or the gaming console after you get back home from work, it is a habit that you must ‘quit’. C'mon guys, as a husband you should think about interesting 'bedroom games', not those video games. Start paying attention to your wife, unless you want to spend your nights cuddling your television set!
Spending too much time with friends
Your wife will not mind if you hang out with your friends once in a
while. But, if your friends continue to take the lion’s share of your
free time, you will end up living with a jealous and irritated better
half. So after you get married, it is best to tone down the amount of
time you spend with your buddies. Or, organise some couples'
get-togethers, where your wife becomes a part of your 'group'. She will
enjoy meeting your friends as well as spending time with you.
Messing around the house
After marriage, everything from a wet towel on the bed to your dirty
tees lying on top of the dresser is a complete no-no. Stop treating your
bedroom as your wardrobe or laundry basket. Get your act together and
learn to keep things in their place. Most of the women are particular
about cleanliness, well if your better half is one of them, then you are
definitely in for some 'troubled' time ahead.
Your home is not a restaurant
Your wife is neither a cook nor a waiter at the home. She is not going
to be serving you food all day around and taking care of all the
household work. So, get up and start helping! Also, if guzzling beer and
munching stuff on the bed is a habit of yours then it is time to bid
farewell to it. Your wife is really not going to appreciate beer stains
and food on the bed that she shares with you (if you want her to keep doing so!).
Talking the 'guy stuff' all the time
In the long run, your wife gradually becomes your best friend. But even
then, she will not appreciate if you talk about ‘guy stuff’ all the
time. Reduce your chatter about your favourite sports, recent match
scores, share market prices or Rambo. Unless your wife is interested in the same topics as you, it will just put her off.
Ogling at other women
This one can be a major nail in your coffin. Your attempts of
'appreciating' the beauty of the fairer sex that walks by, will not go
down well with your better half. Remember, there is now a woman in your
life who expects you to have your eyes only on her. So, control your
temptation of checking out other women.Remember, you will be living with a woman who is your life partner and not a baby sitter. So, with the innocence of a child and attributes of a real man, get ready to become a husband.
Arranged Marriage: What to Ask a Girl in the First Meeting
Ice breaker questions
Always remember that just like you even the girl maybe nervous about this meeting. So, your best approach should be to start with questions that are general and can help you break the ice. Ask her what her name means, her hobbies, her favourite cuisine, etc. If you feel that the girl is shy, then begin the conversation by talking about yourself and then get her involved in the course.Show interest in career and education goals
A girl feels comfortable when she knows that her prospective partner is interested in her career. Instead of blabbing about your career goals and job, do find time to ask about her future plans as well. It will make her feel good about this match, as well. Let her know that you are interested in her future goals, in terms of her education and career.Her marriage expectations
A girl would always like it if a guy asks her views on marriage and expectations related to it. So, if you are meeting a girl for the first time, ask her take on the institution of marriage. This is an important question as it will help you understand her thought process better.Ask about duties towards her parents
Maybe this question is a big thing to ask, but it will certainly clear many doubts you might have. It will help you to understand, if she has any financial responsibilities towards her parents, which she would like to fulfil even after marriage, just like you.
Ask about her lifestyle
Find out about her social life, her favourite pastime and her other interests. This way you can get to know whether she is an extrovert or an introvert. Such small details can actually help you in deciphering whether she is 'your kind of a girl or not'! Do not go overboard with too many questions as she is not a 'candidate' whom you are 'interviewing' for your wife’s position. You are looking for a life partner who should be compatible with you and your family.Ask about her choice of clothing
This question is not too important, but at times it becomes quite relevant. If your family is traditional or conservative and the girl loves western wear, then it might be a little difficult for her and your family to gel well. But, keep an open mind, as either you or the girl might be able to compromise on these things.Now, some funny questions that you should stay away from
The best way to win 'this war' is to equip yourself beforehand. So, here is a list of questions that our women readers have labelled as ‘disastrous’ for the first meeting. So, guys learn your lessons well.- Are you a virgin? (You naughty-naughty boy!)
- How many boyfriends did you have? (You are definitely not the next one, so keep mum!)
- What is your blood group? (Are you looking for a wife or seeking a bone marrow transplant!)
- How many facebook friends do you have? (She is definitely not going to add you, believe us!)
- When do you have your monthly cycle? (Be ready to be kicked out!)
- How many kids do you want? (Remember, she has not yet said yes to you!)
- How much do you earn and how much property have your parents put in your name? (Excuse us, are you an income tax officer?)
- Do you take a bath every day? (Huh!)
8 Great Health Benefits of Sleep
Ah! The joy of sleeping! Along with being one of the most pleasurable activities known to man, it’s also got a whole bunch of health benefits. Read on for more!
If you’re not of the rare breed
that worries about hours wasted while snoozing, you do love your daily
dose of slumber. Perhaps you even look forward to it with unnatural
enthusiasm. If so, you’re doing it right. Apart from being the most
relaxing end to a long day, sleeping also has multiple health benefits.
Top 8 health benefits of sleep
Reduces stress:
In the case of sleep deficiency, the body’s functions enter a state of
high alert, and cause an increase in blood pressure and production of
stress hormones. The stress hormones make it harder to sleep and the
higher blood pressure amplifies the risk of heart attacks and strokes.
Boosts memory: In the time you’re asleep, the brain processes any new knowledge, organises the skills learned while awake, makes connections between events, feelings and memories, and sensory input. This helps you to process information and perform better.
Healthier heart: A lack of sleep is often associated with increased blood pressure and cholesterol – factors directly responsible for heart ailments and strokes. Seven to eight hours of sleep will go a long way in promoting cardiovascular health.
Lowers inflammation: One of the most important benefits of sleep is that it helps to keep stress hormone levels in check. This allows the body to alleviate the levels of inflammation, which is known to increase the risk of heart-related diseases, premature aging, arthritis, cancer and diabetes.
Allows body repairs:
The cells in the body produce more protein while you’re asleep, which
aids the body in recovering from damage caused by stress, ultraviolet
radiation, and other harmful exposures.
Weight management: Lack
of sleep may lead to an imbalance of the ghrelin and leptin hormones,
which are crucial in regulating appetite. Additionally, the same part of
the brain that controls sleep also increases metabolism. So to maintain
or control weight, it is imperative to get adequate sleep.
Higher alertness levels: It follows logically that a good
night’s sleep leads to more energy and alertness the next morning. This
prepares the body for a day’s worth of activity and engagement, and
increases the likelihood of another good night’s sleep. It’s a good
circle to be caught in.
Tips for better sleep
No blue light: Switch off
the television and computer, and keep away the cellphone an hour before
bedtime. The short waves of blue light may interrupt sleep.
Avoid naps:
Though the occasional 20-minute power nap is a real boost, avoid any
shut-eye eight hours prior to bedtime, as that can make falling asleep
at night more troublesome.
Save the bed for sleeping: Your bedroom should only be
limited for rest and relaxation. Keep the money talk, phone
conversations and TV viewing out the door.
Set a routine:
Fix hours for when you sleep and wake up. This puts a healthy sleep
cycle in place, and allows you to fall asleep quickly each night and
sleep well through the night.
No caffeine: Caffeine interferes with deep sleep, so avoid even small amounts found in chocolate and decaf coffee anytime after noon.
Stop smoking: If there aren’t enough reasons to kick the
habit, here’s another: nicotine acts as a stimulant and can keep from
falling asleep and worsen insomnia.
Weight management: Lack of sleep may lead to an imbalance of the ghrelin and leptin hormones, which are crucial in regulating appetite. Additionally, the same part of the brain that controls sleep also increases metabolism. So to maintain or control weight, it is imperative to get adequate sleep.
Higher alertness levels: It follows logically that a good night’s sleep leads to more energy and alertness the next morning. This prepares the body for a day’s worth of activity and engagement, and increases the likelihood of another good night’s sleep. It’s a good circle to be caught in.
Tips for better sleep
No blue light: Switch off
the television and computer, and keep away the cellphone an hour before
bedtime. The short waves of blue light may interrupt sleep.
Avoid naps:
Though the occasional 20-minute power nap is a real boost, avoid any
shut-eye eight hours prior to bedtime, as that can make falling asleep
at night more troublesome.
Save the bed for sleeping: Your bedroom should only be
limited for rest and relaxation. Keep the money talk, phone
conversations and TV viewing out the door.
Set a routine:
Fix hours for when you sleep and wake up. This puts a healthy sleep
cycle in place, and allows you to fall asleep quickly each night and
sleep well through the night.
No caffeine: Caffeine interferes with deep sleep, so avoid even small amounts found in chocolate and decaf coffee anytime after noon.
Stop smoking: If there aren’t enough reasons to kick the
habit, here’s another: nicotine acts as a stimulant and can keep from
falling asleep and worsen insomnia.
Save the bed for sleeping: Your bedroom should only be limited for rest and relaxation. Keep the money talk, phone conversations and TV viewing out the door.
Set a routine:
Fix hours for when you sleep and wake up. This puts a healthy sleep
cycle in place, and allows you to fall asleep quickly each night and
sleep well through the night.
No caffeine: Caffeine interferes with deep sleep, so avoid even small amounts found in chocolate and decaf coffee anytime after noon.
