Genius Peter
Killer English
New Year Resolution
Teacher: Happy New Year bachchon! Aaj se 2014 start ho raha hai. Is naye
saal pe kasam khao ki kabhi bhi sharaab aur cigarette nahin piyoge,
drugs nahin loge, non veg nahin khaoge.
Bachche: Theek hai sir, hum sharaab, cigarette, drugs, non veg ko chuenge tak nahin.
Teacher: Kabhi ladkiyaan nahin chedoge.
Bachche: Nahin chedenge sir.
Teacher: Kabhi...
No Life Without Wife
1. Subaah subaah garam paani milega..... Bartan dhone ke liye.
2. Pyaare pyaare bachche milenge..... Aapko gadha Banaane ke liye.
3. Har roz biwi aapse pyar se nolegi..... Ration laane ke liye.
4. Biwi aapke baahon me baahein daalegi..... Kharcha paani ke liye.
5. Aap gaana gaana shuru kar doge..... Bachchon ko sulaane ke liye.
6. Wo roz taiyaar hokar...
Bollywood songs with their Medical meanings
Jiya Jale Jaan Jale, Raat Bhar Dhuan Chale - Fever
Tadap Tadap Ke Is Dil Se Aah Nikalti Rahi - Heart Attack
Suhani Raat Dhal Chuki, Na Jaane Tum Kab Aoge - Constipation
Bidi Jalayle Jigar Se Piya Jigar Ma Badi Aag Hai - Acidity
Tujh Mein Rab Dikhta Hai, Yaara Main Kya Karoon - Cataract
Tuje Yaad Na Meri Aayi Kisi Se Ab Kya Kehna - Alzheimer...
Breasts are more popular than penises
The first ever Internet broadcast of a penile-pump-implant surgery
failed miserably when very few people showed up to watch. Is anyone
surprised?
Healthology.com thought they had a really good idea when they decided to
broadcast the procedure on the web. Healthology.com then convinced
American Medical Systems, Inc., makers of the hydraulic penis...
AAM Underwear!
Arvind Kejriwal has stopped wearing his underwears bcoz...
He can't wear VIP underwears as they have VIP written on them.
He can't wear Rupa since people would say he always keeps Rupa around
his private parts, and in Delhi that's a dangerous thing to do.
Or Jockey as horse riding is a rich man's pastime.
He can't wear Macroman since he is a common...
Students of Different Ages
Classic examples for students of different age groups:
1st to 3rd class: Hey! I studied everything for exam.
4th to 6th class: Hey! That question was very hard so I leave only that question.
7th to 10th class: Hey! Read only important questions.
11th class: I think 4 chapters are enough to get pass.
12th class: Kal exam kaun sa hai yaar?
And in college:...
Little Star!
Chhote: Akshay Kumar bahut bada star hai na?
Bade: Haan hai toh...
Chhote: But uski wife itni badi star nahi hai... jyada chali nahin.
Bade: Nahin yaar, chali hai wo bhi, but uski shaadi ho gayi na.
Chhote: Nahin wo baat nahin hai, sabko pata hai.
Bade: Kisko pata hai?
Chhote: Bachhe bachhe tak ko pata hai ki wo nahi chali, wo ek choti star hai.
Bade:...
Girl`s Shopping!
Ladki: Bhai saab, is mirror ka kya rate hai???
Shopkeeper: Iska rate? Yeh sirf 100 Rs ka behanji.
Ladki: Aur is waale ka kitna hai?
Shopkeeper: Iska ji sirf 200 Rs hai.
Ladki: Aur Bhaiya iska kitna hai, ye jo red colour ka hai?
Shopkeeper: Iska ji sirf 1000 Rs hai.
Ladki: Ohh...!!! Itna mehnga? Kya khaas baat hai is sheeshe mein???
Shopkeeper: Madam...
Banta ki Khusi!
Banta ki biwi kaafi bimar thi aur hospital mein admit thi. Doctors ne 1 week tak uska check-up kiya, sab tests kiye.
Saari reports aane ke baad ek senior doctor ne Banta ko bulaya aur kaha: Banta ji ek baat batani hai apko.
Banta: Ji doctor saaba, kahiye.
Doctor: We are sorry Banta ji, apki biwi jyada se jyada 1-2 months ki mehman hai...
Banta: Docor...
Papa ki BMW!
A Boyfriend sends a message to his girlfriend on WhatsApp...
Boyfriend - Hi.
Girlfriend - Hello.
Boyfriend - Kahan par ho?
Girlfriend: Main apne papa ki BMW mein club ja rahi hun, abhi driver
mujhe club chor dega, uske baad mall mein shopping ke liye jaungi, tab
tumhe call karti hun, tum kahan par ho?
Boyfriend: 401 no ki bus mein, TUMHARI SEAT...
Educated Wife!
Husband: Wow, Tum itni Gulabi kaise lag rahi ho???
Wife: When your lovely words touch the bundle branches of the
circulation system of my heart, it starts beating faster & increased
output is trans mitted to adrenals which start secreting glucon to
increase blood glucose level & to combatthis emergency, Pituitary
output also increases...
Genius Answer!
TV Anchor Charwahe se: Aap Bakre ko kya khilate hain?
Charwaha: Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko.
Charwaha: Ghass.
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Charwaha: Use bhi Ghass.
Anchor: Inhain bandhte kidher ho?
Charwaha: Kise Kale ko ya Safaid ko?
Anchor: Safaid ko.
Charwaha: Bahar ke kamre mein.
Anchor: Aur Kale ko?
Charwaha: Use bhi bahar ke kamre mein.
Anchor:...
Bechara Husband!
Ek husband ne apni wife ko ek SMS bheja:
Thanks for making my life wonderful and being a part of my life. What
ever I am is only because of you. You are my angel thanks for coming in
my life and making it worth living. You're Great.
Uski wife ne reply bheja: Pee li hai na ? Ab chup chap ghar aa jao...
DARO MAT... KUCHH NAHI BOLUNGI..!!!
Husband:...
Meetha Break-Up!
Girlfriend: I am just too fed up from our daily fights, I just wanna break up with you.
Boyfriend: Kya hua yaar?
Girlfriend: Mein ab tumhaare saath nahin rah sakti, mein jaa rahi hun.
Boyfriend: Theek hai, theek hai, par pehle yeh chocolate toh le lo.
Girlfriend: Ohhhh... so you don't want me to go, manaa rahe ho na mujhe choclate deke.
Boyfriend:...
Pappu`s Interview
Interviewer: Agar 2 minute ke liye aapko pradhanmantri bana diya jaye toh aap kya karenge???
Pappu: Hum Maggi noodles banayenge.
Interviewer: Why???
Pappu: Kyunki 2 minute mein toh sirf Maggi hi ban sakti hai.
Interviewer: Aur agar 5 saal ke liye bana diya jaye toh???
Pappu: Hum 5 saal ke liye pradhanmantri nahin banenge.
Interviewer: Why???
Pappu:...
How was I born?
Pappu to his Mom: Mumma... Main kaise paida hua tha?
Mom: Maine ek box me mitti daal kar rakh di thi, kuch din baad uss mein se tum mile mujhe.
Pappu did the same thing...
Jab Kuch din baad usne jaa kar box khola aur dekha ki usmein ek Cockroach tha.
Pappu (Gussey se): Dil to karta hai ki tujhe goli maar dun... Par kya karu..!? Aaulad hai tu meri...
Poor Husband
Ek ladke ki shaadi ek bahut hi khubsurat ladki se fix hui.
Woh dono hamesha WhatsApp par baatein karte rahte the.
Phir kuch time ke baad dono ki shaadi ho gayi. First night ko ladke ne
jab ladki ka ghoongat uthakar: Tum wakai bahut hi khubsurat ho... Tumhe
kya gift karun...
Ladki sharmati hui boli: Humto toh aap taa Dill Taaiye.....
Bechaara ladka,...
Girl`s Reaction!
Reactions of a Girl without a boyfriend:
1) Main nahi padti in chakkaro meine..!
2) Mere liye mere gharwale important hain aur unke saamne boyfriend kuch bhi nahi...!
3) Sab Ladke Ek Jaise Hi Hote Hain..!!
Same Girl after having a boyfriend:
1) Yaar pata nahi kaise ho gaya pyaar, uske siway kuch nahi dikhta ab mujhe..!!
2) Gharwalon ko manana padega...
Family Introduction
A man fron UP is introducing his family:
1. Yeh hai meri biwi..... Google Raani... Ek sawal poocho toh 10 jawab deti hai...!!!
2. Yeh hai mera beta.... Facebook Kumar... Ghar ki baat sare colony tak pahuchata hai...!!!
3. Yeh hai meri beti.... Twitter Kumari... Poori colony isko folow karti hai...!!!
4. Aur mein, mein hun Orkut Kumar... Mujhe koi...
When Manmohan Singh was in school
When Manmohan Singh was in school, He was never punished for talking in the clas...
Manmohan Singh to a small child
When Manmohan Singh said to a small child - "You're so cute"
The child replied - "You're so mut...
When Manmohan Singh starts speaking
When Manmohan Singh starts speaking at the rate of 5 alphabets per day, the doctor knows he's critica...
When Manmohan Singh gets angry
When Manmohan Singh gets angry he switches himself from silent mode to vibration mod...
Manmohan Singh`s Tips
When Manmohan Singh will retire.he can consult to Saas-Bahu and can give tips how to be silent during fight...
When Manmohan Singh was in school
When Manmohan Singh was in school, he even forgot to ensure his presence at the time of Attendance Calculation due to his mute behavior ...
Manmohan Singh`s Birthday Celebration
When Manmohan Singh's next birthday ll come, best thing u can do to celebrate it, is taking 'MAUN VRA...
Manmohan Singh`s Biography
When Manmohan Singh write his biography.
I__________________________________________________________________________. Thanks...
Manmohan Singh`s photo or video?
When Manmohan Singh is on TV, it is tough to tell whether it's his photo or video......
Manmohan Singh`s Proposal to Sonia
I'am still waiting for that moment when Manmohan Singh will propose Soniya Gandhi to marry with hi...
Manmohan Singh`s Slogan
When Manmohan Singh was student, Those were the days when he gave a slogan "Keep Quiet...
When ManMohan Singh was born
When ManMohan Singh was born, the doctor and the whole hospital gone into Silenc...
Manmohan Singh`s Remote
When Manmohan Singh used tv remote first, he muted himself..
And now the remote is with Sonia J...
Happy Republic Day SMS
Happy Republic Day SMS
28 states;
7 Union Territories:
30 major languages;
6 ethnic groups;
More than 50 major festivals;
1 country. I am proud to be an Indian!
Happy Republic Da...
Happy Republic Day SMS
On this special day, let's promise our motherland that
we'll do everything to enrich our culture and heritage; preserve our
national treasures; and keep our country clean of filth and corruption!
Happy Republic Da...
Happy Republic Day SMS
Preamble of Constitution
Happy 26 January!
Happy Republic day!
Happy Republic day!
Our country has given us:
Rich Culture and Heritage;
Diversity in languages, colour and creed;
Right to practise different religion;
And freedom of Speech.
Thank you God for giving us birth in this great India, where we co-exist with peace and harmony!
Happy Republic da...
Happy 26 January!
Happy Republic Day!
I love INDIA because
I: It's a
N: nation
D: dazzling everyone due to its
I: immense and
A: amazing unity in diversity
Wish you a happy Republic da...
Happy Republic Day!
Happy Republic Day!
Happy Republic Day!
Natural Tips to Get Sparkling White Teeth
How to Flirt Like a True Gentleman
Fashion Mistakes that Men Make
What Women Want in Bed but Never Say
Sex facts about Indian youth!
Emotionally Satisfy a Woman
Why Animals are never bored?
Sometimes I wonder why Animals are never Bored, but then I realize that when everyone around you is Nàked you can never be Bored.!!...
Which type of girls wear transparent dresses?
Which type of girls wear transparent dresses? .
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.
.
.
The girls are not having any confidence, on imagination power of a man. ...
Dhoom 3 ticket price
"Dhoom 3" tickets are priced ₹ 900/- at Imax theatres.
Price breakup:
₹ 400 Aamir
+ ₹ 300 Katrina
+ ₹ 150 Aamir's Bike
+ ₹ 30 Aamir's Hat
+ ₹ 13 Music
+ ₹ 5 Abhishek
+ ₹ 2 Uday Chop...
Krrish cannot handle a wife!
Hrithik Roshan and his wife Sussanne have decided to separate.
Moral : Even a superhero like Krrish cannot handle a wif...
Uday Chopra in Management Quota
Uday Chopra qualifies to act (?) in all in all 'Dhoom' movies because he's from
.
..
...
....
the "Management Quota...
Krrish 3 Logic!
Krrish 3 Logic:
Kaal (Vivek Oberoi) is made from Rohit's (Krrish's father) DNA.
That's how he is Krrish's brother.
And Kaya (Kangana Ranaut) is made from Kaal's and Chameleon's DNA.
So logically, she is Kaal's daughter.
Kaya falls in love with Krrish; but he is his Chacha (Paternal Uncle...
Krrish 3 Songs
It's widely believed that it's the same person who
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..
...
....
composed the Krrish 3 songs and writes the speeches for Rahul Gandh...
Ram Gopal Verma's Bhoots returning to theaters
Ram Gopal Verma's "Bhoot Returns" released. Lack of audience also results in Bhoots returning to theaters....
Salman Khan in - Ek Tha Driver
Breaking News:
Salman Khan and Sohail Khan to appear together in their next co-production titled "Ek Tha Driver...
Sunny Leone's lingerie auction
Sunny Leone's lingerie auction comes with a catch. With every bra/panty
of Sunny, you will have to buy a 'Kachha' (underwear) of Mahesh Bhat...
Aishwarya's baby
Doctor to Aishwarya's baby:
Dr: Who is ur grandpa?
Aaradhya: Big B.
Dr: Who is ur Mom?
Aaradhya: Miss World.
Dr: Who is ur father?
Aaradhya: No idea, Sir je...
Rajesh Khanna Fans
For the first time in the history of Indian Cinema, an actor (Rajesh Khanna) is selling his (Havell) fan...
Saif Ali Khan`s `X` Factor
`X` married `Z`, who was twice his age, left her, & started dating `Y` who was half her age. What`s the age of `X`?
Student: I don`t know the calculations but 'X' is surely Saif Ali Kha...
Jewel Thief
Steve Jobs, Jagjit Singh, Shammi Kapoor, Bhupen Hazarika, Dev Anand, God is the (REAL) Jewel Thie...
What do we learn from movies like Om Shanti Om and Ra-One?
What do we learn from movies like Om Shanti Om and Ra-One?
It always takes 2 Shahrukh Khan to kill one Arjun Rampa...
Why is Aamir doing more than one film every year instead of one every few years?
Why is Aamir doing more than 1 film every year instead of 1 every few years?
Bcoz he wants to live up to his nam...
Rakhi Sawant on LIC Office
Once Rakhi Sawant goes to LIC Office.
Rakhi: I want to get my body insured.
Officer: Sorry Madam, we do not insure Public Propert...
Break off between Saif and Kareena
In case there is a break off between Saif and Kareena, Saif will have his tattoo changed to guess what?
A: KAMEE...
Why did Kareena break-up with Shahid?
Why did Kareena break-up with Shahid?
Bcoz she wanted a new surname after marriage.
Not Kapoor agai...
Best Thing on Facebook
"Stop Notifications/Unfollow Post" Is Probably The Best Thing Facebook Has Come Up With.....
Facebook Upload
In Afghanistan and Pakistan people on FB upload a picture of AK-47 And write the caption Your childhood was amazing if you remember thi...
Makar Sankranti
"AAP ki Patang with help of Congress ka Manja trying to cut BJP ki
Patang for Lok Sabha elections" as nation says Happy Makar Sankranti....
Party All Night Alok Nath Version
Lungi Dance Alok Nath Version
Jab Tak Hai Jaan Alok Nath Version
Alok Nath to Arohi
Alok Nath: Arohi
Arohi: Wot??
Alok Nath: Kuch nahi, bus apna kanyadaan mujhse hi karwan...
Alok Nath to buy Condom
Alok Nath goes to a medical store to buy condom.
Salesman : Which flavor?
Alok : Haldi Chanda...
Alok Nath`s WhatsApp Status
Alok Nath's WhatsApp:
Available
Busy
At temple
At Kirtan
At Jagrata
Aashirwad about to die
In a marriage
Kanyadaaning
Samdhiji calls online...
Alok Nath on The News Hour
Alok Nath took part in debate of #TheNewsHour and result, he convinced Arnab Goswami to get married with Sanjay Jh...
Alok Nath`s Favourite Sport
Alok Nath's favourite sport is football. Because of family members Kaka, Mata and Nan...
Doctor Alok Nath
Alok Nath didn't become a doctor because he was too ashamed of reading about the female anatom...
Alok Nath`s Record
Alok Nath holds world record for having Maximum number of Samdhi-Samdhans in the worl....
Alok Nath`s New Year Celebration
Alok Nath celebrates new year by playing passing-the-parcel with family and Antakshar...
Alok Nath's Degree
Alok Nath's Degree - MBA in Kanyaadan
Skills - Sanskaar
Experience -10022848 Kanyaadans done
Hobby - Giving Ashirwaad...
Lungi Dance in Alok Nath Style
Pagadi Ko Thoda Round Ghumake..
Dhoti ko thoda upar uthake..
Pandit Ke Jaisa Tikka Lagake..
Aa Jao Sab Mood Banake...
All The Sanskaari Fans
Don't Miss The Chance..
Kanyadaans Kanyadaans Kanyadaans Kanyadaans
Kanyadaans Kanyadaans Kanyadaans Kanyadaans
Chalo Samdhan ji mata ke jagraate me...
Aap Ho sanskaari der na karo aane me...
Mandir Me Jab Ye...
Facebook Status
If I Die And People Post Bad Statuses About Me On Facebook, I Will Come Back And Murder Them....