How to kill a Lion

Infosys Method: • Hire a lion • Send him for training in Mysore and make him feel like the KING OF THE JUNGLE. • Make him take a ‘Generic Compree Exam’…………LION TURNS INTO CAT. • Make him take a ‘Stream Compree Exam’…………CAT TURNS INTO A MOUSE. • Send him into production whichhas nothing to do with what he was trained for. • Mouse runs here and there for help!! • Send him mails telling about mandatory certifications. • Mouse commits suicide. TCS method: • Hire a lion. • Give him a hell lot of work and pay him government salary. • Lion dies of hunger and frustration IBM method: • Hire a lion. • Give him a pink slip in an hour. • Lion dies of unemployment. Wipro Method: • Hire a Lion • Give him a mail id. • Lion dies receiving stupid mails all day!! HCL Method: • Hire a lion. • Ask him to stay for late nights but give him no work to do. • Give him Gobi65 to eat again and again. • Hire 100 more lions but do not increase the space tosit. • Give them same Gobi65 to eat. • Hire 200 more……. and more……. • All of them dies of suffocation. Accenture Method: • Hire a lion. • Send him to Chennai, India. • Ask him to stay on bench for a long time. • Ask him to eat idli, Dosa and Vada. • No Hindi, Kannada or no other languages speaking people other than TAMIL. • No good food, No water. • Tell him “Go Ahead be a Tiger”. • Lion dies in confusion... he is a lion or a Tiger!! Cognizant Method: • Hire few lions. • Make them to wait for more than one year for joining. • Send lions from Hyd to Chennai and lions from Chennai to Hyd. • Train the lions on Java/Dot net and ask them to jointesting team. • Give lectures on “Lions First” and ask them buy books on “Lions First”. • Relocate the lions from one jungle to another jumgle and tell them you are to going a better jungle. • Send old lions to African jungles (Onsite) and never rotate them to Indian jungles. • Old lions at Africa becomes king of the jungle. • Indian jungle lions becomes frustrated waiting for onsite and eventually joins any of the above jungles (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc) • Lion dies according to reasons appropriate for abovementioned jungles (TCS, IBM, Accenture etc)